branching out

Connected

2012-01-05T22:24:00.000-08:00

New roots...new strength...new season...new year.

Branching out.

New look to the blog. New thoughts. And a desire to be connected.

Initially when I started writing/journaling/sharing here it was to be connected to others. Being more intentional about writing here and finding ways to engage with others are really important to me.

Dating my husband. Playing with my kids. Seeking Jesus. Getting beyond myself and my insecurities. Blogging. facebook. Asking people to coffee. Taking care of myself. More fun. Less worry. Thinking outside the box. Choosing relationship over task. Less guarded. More vulnerable. Trying new things. More hope. Less fear.

Connected. Intentional.

Fun times!

2011-11-06T15:49:00.000-08:00

We've had some great adventures in the last couple of weeks. I'm a linear thinker and I can't shake my desire to keep documenting, writing, and catching up so that I don't forget what we've done. To fill you in, check out some recent posts:

The Pumpkin Patch

Ryan's Final Day

The Fire Station

Vacation: Family and Birthdays

Vacation: Children's Museum

Vacation: Springfield

There is LarryBoy

Batman and a Bunny

November. I am thankful for a new season. Some new thoughts. Some new margins. Some new time without MBA classes and homework. I'm excited to share some of the "new".

Batman and a Bunny

2011-11-06T09:28:00.000-08:00

On Halloween Quinn dressed up as Batman and Sela was a sweet bunny.

We had a good time visiting friends for trick or treating and seeing most of the kids from our previous small group...there were a LOT of kids!

We finished the night at the church's fall festival where there were bouncy houses, games, and MORE trick or treating. After the kids went to bed, we did our best to "help" their candy bags...there were some good treats!

There is LarryBoy!

2011-10-31T16:58:00.000-07:00

A pumpkin creation by Ryan and Quinn...

Vacation: Springfield

2011-10-28T15:18:00.000-07:00

We enjoy going to Springfield to spend time with Doughertys but Quinn is always especially excited because there is always a new treasure to discover. This visit was no exception. Grandma Dougherty found the Dougherty's special Batman costume that was made YEARS ago for the many Dougherty boys to play with.

Quinn got his turn. What a pose.

Two superheroes ready to help...

Grandma Dougherty found the old Spiderman ski mask to wear.

Sela in a "frog" costume.

We went down to the U of O campus to check things out and visit the bookstore. As we were getting ready to leave, Puddles came walking by the store! Of course we had to get a picture. Quinn and the Duck made "O's" and gave each other the rock.

Do you notice Sela in the first picture...

and in the second picture. She did NOT want to be around Puddles!

Sela didn't want to miss out on wearing Batman's cape--so she became Super Sela!

We had a great time hanging out and even got to see Uncle Chad and Aunt Robyn as well as Uncle Kyler. Good times all round...so great to spend time together.

Vacation: Children's Museum

2011-10-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

We decided Quinn should have some vacation days too so opted to take Quinn out of school on Thursday and Friday.

Thursday we took Quinn and Sela to the Children's Museum's Lego Castle Adventure! I love our library's cultural passes--four people to the museum for $9. It was a great exhibit with lots to do and look at. Quinn and Sela had great fun trying things out with legos and in the other exhibit areas too.

For lunch we headed to New Cascadia Traditional, a gluten-fee bakery. We had some seriously amazing pizza, cupcakes, and brownies. It is good to watch Ryan enjoy food that tastes good! It was a great morning and we capped it off by heading to Springfield to spend time with Ryan's family.

Vacation: Family and Birthdays

2011-10-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

The week after Ryan finished his MBA (hooray!) we took a week of vacation!

Quinn and Sela always have something going (vacation or not)...here Sela is in her stage while Quinn and the rest of the audience watch the performance.

We totally enjoyed a visit from the Medford Doughertys with "big Elim" and the rest of the Newberg Doughertys.

It was a great start for celebrating Ryan's 34th birthday (October 24th). It was Ryan's first Monday night without a class! What a great gift!

Our little family on Daddy's birthday...happy birthday, Ryan!

The Fire Station

2011-10-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

A day at the fire station is a treat so when one had an open house, we made sure to visit!

The kids got to try on uniforms and hats, crawl through "tunnels" to rescue the fire dog, color pictures, walk through fire trucks and an ambulance...all in all a great time!

Quinn got to practice using one of the fire hoses!

The firefighters did a demonstration of how to get out of a two-story house and helped the kids practice going out a window and down a ladder.

A big highlight of the time was riding in this fire engine around the neighborhood. The firefighters even turned on the siren. We waved at people who came out to watch. Quinn and Sela grinned. It was a great trip!

Ryan's Final Day!

2011-10-18T14:55:00.000-07:00

The actual graduation won't take place until December but we celebrated Ryan's final day of class for his MBA program on October 17th. Our paper chain met its demise and we cheered as Ryan tore through the LAST ring! Now we get to have Ryan around on Monday nights, more Saturdays, and just...more. It is so WONDERFUL!

The Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-17T14:31:00.000-07:00

Have you ever looked for the perfect pumpkin? The perfect round, orange, picturesque pumpkin. Our hunt for the perfect pumpkin had some different criteria: tall, skinny, and green. Quinn had some ideas about LarryBoy. We had a great time at Baggenstos Farm--playing and hunting for our perfect pumpkin.

This pumpkin looks just like a watermelon doesn't it? We looked all over for the tallest, skinniest, greenest pumpkin. And, wallah!

This is one of my favorite pictures...I think Sela was ready to be done!

My other blog...

2011-10-16T15:43:00.000-07:00

My other blog is afoodprocessor and I posted a little something there after thinking some more about my previous food/kitchen post.

More ponderings to come...

Ryan's Leadership Symposium

2011-10-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

Ryan spoke Saturday at the MBA Leadership Symposium--his final Saturday class! And he did a wonderful job! Oh my goodness! Quinn and I were able to attend...

Ryan, in true Ryan-fashion, prepared an engaging and thoughtful message entitled "Broken". He talked about his own journey in leadership, our family, and what he is learning about brokenness, vulnerability, and leadership. He even did a magic trick to illustrate his point. People laughed and cried and "got it". It was so.good.

His peers and professors gave him some very kind feedback. It was a great day (although it was a long day of presentations from 8:30AM to 5PM)!

There is only one more chain link of the paper chain left...which will be ripped tomorrow by Ryan with great joy and hooting and hollering by Quinn, Sela, and me.

Ryan Dougherty, MBA

2011-10-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

After beginning the MBA program in September of 2009, Ryan is three days and two last class sessions away from completing the 26 month program. Every Monday night, he has been at the Portland Center from 6PM-10PM. He has spent quite a few Saturdays in class. He has met for group projects, skyped for group projects, traveled for group projects, done research, written papers, and completed hours upon hours of homework.

Our family, October 2009, just after starting the program

And he has done this while working full-time and still being a husband and father. He has written papers ahead of their due dates so he can be more attentive to kids or because he knew other things were going on. But he has also had to sacrifice time with family in order to study, do homework, and attend class. He has gone the extra mile in taking on additional projects when someone on his team needed help. He has put together some amazing presentations. His class voted for him to be the student speaker at their hooding ceremony in December. He has overcome a number of challenges over the past two years even while navigating all the competing responsibilities, requirements, and requests his various roles demand.

Our family, October 2011, three days before the completion of Ryan's MBA

Ryan presents Saturday morning at a Leadership Symposium reflecting on what he has learned. I'm sure it is going to be amazing!

And then. Monday night. 10:00 PM. He will finish his final class.

And we are SO proud of him.


The paper chain we made for the last week of class...as of Saturday he is down to TWO rings!

Sweet Sela

2011-10-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

Sela keeps us laughing. Her sense of humor, her questions, her singing, her snuggles. She is truly one of a kind. She loves to look at books. She loves to pretend she is singing on a stage. She makes great pirate sounds.

She loves black beans with Cafe Yumm sauce, quesadillas, grilled cheese sandwiches, pbj (which she takes a part and eats the peanut butter side by itself and then the jelly side), cottage cheese, CHEESE, pizza, grapes, apples, ham, well...she likes to eat.

Sela is a fan of Dora, Barney, and VeggieTales. She likes to sleep with her two "babies" and pacifier. She takes a great nap in the afternoon and then sleeps well at night. She wants to be with Quinn while he does his therapies...she'll jump off the couch to turn his CPT machine on when it stops. She likes to make sure people are doing alright.

Here are a few recent photos of Sela...how fun is she!

Jaguar Jog

2011-10-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

Last week Quinn got to run in his school's Jaguar Jog. The rains held off while his class and a few others spent about 20 minutes running laps out on the soccer field. He would run awhile and walk a bit then run awhile and walk a bit. Sela and I cheered him on.

Here comes Quinn around the corner...

We get a wave as he cruises by

And now he leaves the field a sweaty, jogging jaguar!

A special video

2011-10-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

I met Corina as a student in one of my residence halls my last year as an area coordinator. After Quinn was born and diagnosed with CF we ran into each other and Corina told me about a friend of hers from back home who had CF.

Fast forward a few years, preparing for the concert with our team (our AWESOME team of Nate and Kim, Lindsay, and Vangie) and Nate suggested we see if Corina and her boyfriend Ethan would be willing to do a video about Quinn and CF for the concert.

Corina and Ethan willingly agreed to donate their talents and expertise to create a video for the benefit concert. When we got to chat with them, Corina shared that her friend with CF had passed away...she was in her early 20's. Corina and Ethan understood why this video and concert were so important to us.

We spent some time together over the last few weeks sharing our story and lives with them. Quinn and Sela loved the cameras and they both really enjoyed Corina and Ethan.

Corina and Ethan put together a really excellent video. I hope you'll take five minutes to watch it if you haven't seen it yet. It captures so much of life for us right now and why we are motivated to bring awareness to CF. Just click here.

What a night!

2011-10-11T21:10:00.000-07:00

And finally, after much planning and preparing, the night for the Benefit Concert for Cystic Fibrosis featuring Tyrone Wells arrived. We are celebrating the joy of the night and the great evening it turned out to be!

We had fun leading up the event...we posted some videos on facebook from Quinn, Tyrone, and this one from Quinn and Sela. We called it "Getting ready for the concert: Shake your wiggles out".

I'm sure people were inspired to attend. I know I was :)

If you couldn't make it...or wanted to relive the night...here are a few pictures for you taken by PhotoMacy (who is AWESOME!!). Just imagine yourself in Bauman Auditorium at George Fox...

Quinn waiting for the concert to start

Sweet Kim welcoming everyone


Olivia Pothoff sharing her amazing voice and an original song about Quinn called "Whole". I'm hoping that we get to share this song with all of you soon because Olivia's words and music were incredible. So.good.

Quinn recorded a welcome for everyone who came to the concert to raise money for CF

Tyrone sharing his gifts of music and songwriting

I love this picture with Tyrone and the reflection of his guitar...it was an intimate performance

It was such a TERRIFIC night! We loved hearing our friends share their talents through word and music...and it was a beautiful night to listen to Tyrone. I think he is my favorite singer/songwriter. For real. The music was amazing.

People gave generously by purchasing tickets, buying CDs (which Tyrone donated), and opening up wallets by donating online or at the concert. The estimated number in attendance was between 400 and 450 and it looks like the final amount raised is...$6046! HOORAY! How amazing is that?!!?

What a wonderful, wonderful night...

a food processor

2011-10-03T13:45:00.001-07:00

Food is a big part of our lives. We all eat. Quinn has to things high in fat, protein, calories, and extra salt. Ryan is gluten intolerant so...no gluten. Sela has no allergies or diet issues and typically will yell "I DO" when asked if someone wants more food. I like food. We all eat. Sometimes it feels more complicated than other times.

I started another blog called a food processor so I could write about food, things I'd been learning, thinking, and wondering about food. I'm in a food processor kind of mode right now so here I am processing. I'm working on a list to go grocery shopping and back to wondering about how we buy food and how others buy food.

Last summer, I had been reading a lot about food. Books by Michael Pollan and Barbara Kingsolver. Books about items in the kitchen, safety concerns, and food. I read blogs, blogs, blogs about quality food, budgets, and cooking. I was talking with friends who had made a shift from buying just based on price but also on quality and source. I was finding out about the food in my area of the world and I was so amazed at the kind of foods that were just 3 miles from my house!

I cleaned out my kitchen of pots and pans and "stuff" that was questionable.

I signed up to work an organic farm doing a community garden.

We bought a freezer. I learned how to blanch vegetables and freeze them. I learned how to do the same with peaches.
I picked strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries. I learned how to can pickles.
We purchased half of a hog from a local source. We purchased a quarter of grass-fed beef from a local source. We purchased some local chickens. All of which took up residence in my freezer. Some friends sold us eggs...from local chickens fed good food.

(These local egg yolks are SO yellow and thick. We recently switched to regular store eggs and when I made scrambled eggs Ryan asked me what happened to the eggs? They were such a light yellow and tasted very different. There is a difference!)

Last summer I had Quinn and Sela out in a corn field where I was weeding. Quinn could run around and I had Sela in her pack and play. In the dirt. In the corn field. And it was great. This summer--no such luck.

I had high hopes for working back on the farm--because when you worked at the farm you could take as much produce as you wanted and could can or freeze quantities too. For $24 and 30 hours of work. Summer and winter veggies! I had high hopes! I signed up.

And didn't go out at all. Not even once.

For some reason this summer, taking the kids out and working at the farm felt overwhelming. Freezing veggies and canning things felt overwhelming. Picking berries felt overwhelming. I picked a couple of pounds of raspberries this summer. No strawberries or blueberries. Sad, sad, sad.

I believe people shop with a variety of priorities. Some shop solely based on cost. Some shop based on a diet plan. Some shop based on food being organic. Some shop looking for local foods. The costs between these various plans are pretty significant. For awhile I shopped focusing on the organic and local options plus Quinn and Ryan's diet needs. And now for awhile I've shopped based on cost plus Quinn and Ryan's diet needs.

I'm trying to figure out how to honor our budget needs, take care of Quinn and Ryan's diet needs, and still pay attention to the organic and local labels. I've tried a number of ways of doing this but am back to being stuck.

I also think about access to food. Who gets to make choices about their food and who just has to go with the food they can get no matter the quality of the food. Living off canned cheese and top ramen isn't really eating food. It is more like eating things that look like food. Some substance flavored to taste like the anticipated food.

So, I'm back to feeling the tension between what feels like wise financial stewardship, what I believe is best quality, and what are the essentials to use in meeting diet needs and eating real food.

In honor of Ryan's gluten intolerance, I'm going gluten-free this month. Sometimes making sure Ryan has something that is interesting and tastes good to eat that is gluten-free is an after thought for me. I decided I would recognize what he needs better if I experienced it myself. Like at lunch today, we had gluten free soup with..."what" I thought? No toast. No crackers. Fruit? A yogurt? I got out the corn chips and salsa. Not really the vibe I was looking for with curried red lentil soup.

I'm thinking and processing. Thoughts? Comments? Questions? I'm interested.

Abraham Lincoln

2011-09-25T22:02:00.000-07:00

At lunch today we were talking about a variety of people from the Bible...Elisha, Jonah, Joshua. We had moved on to something else and Quinn asked me to tell him about Abraham Lincoln.

Cool I thought. Lets talk about Abraham Lincoln.

So I began. "Abraham Lincoln was born in a log cabin in Illinois in the 1800's. He didn't have much money."

Quinn asked, "So when did God talk to him?"

Hmmm...

Ryan said, "Do you mean Abraham? In the Bible?"

"Yeah, Abraham."

Ahhhhh...different story, dude.

Tyrone Wells in Concert

2011-09-24T20:24:00.000-07:00

This groovy dude is my cousin. Tyrone Wells. And he is coming to do a benefit concert to raise money for Cystic Fibrosis research at George Fox on Thursday, October 6th.

Last year I was trying to think of ways to help raise money for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and CF research. Thinking of who I knew or what I knew or what we could do that might bring more awareness to CF. And, Tyrone came to mind.

I asked him and he immediately said yes.

Because you need to know that Tyrone is doing really well in the music world--that people are listening to him, coming to concerts, buying his music, putting his music in movies and TV shows.

But he is still Tyrone. Real. Sincere. Caring. Honest. Loves his wife. Loyal to his family.

And I'm proud of his success but I'm so proud of who he is. And in his generosity he is sharing his gifts and talents with us to help Quinn in this benefit concert for Cystic Fibrosis.

If you can, come out to George Fox University in Newberg on Thursday, October 6th at 7:30 for a GREAT show with Tyrone Wells. And you might think I'm biased but for real. The dude can sing. And his lyrics are thoughtful. And he can yodel. I mean--come on. He yodels! You can buy tickets for $10 at the door or online. And if you would like to make a donation directly for CF research check out Quinn's donation page.

We hope to see you on October 6th!

2011-09-20T17:52:00.000-07:00

Heard today:

Sela: "You squishing me, dad!"
Ryan: "Maybe you could consider that cuddling."

120 mph

2011-09-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

September kicked off with Sela's 2nd birthday and Quinn starting kindergarten. Ryan beginning his final MBA course while starting a new year recruiting students and leading his team. Me working 20 hours a week and planning a benefit concert for CF with some friends.

While everything else we normally do continues too.
We typically choose to do life so we have more space and less commitments.
It just feels better.

I'm grateful for some opportunities to work--I'm helping out in my old position as Student Transitions Program Coordinator at George Fox while the current coordinator is on maternity leave for the month. It has been really great to reconnect with colleagues, to interact with students, to think about student development, and what I love about Christian Higher Education.

It has also reminded me that my identity is no longer what I do or don't do. Those things are a part of me but they don't define me. For years that identity was very important to me. How we live is now more important to me than what I do. It has been a process, especially revealing over the last few months, but very good.

I still have some compulsive work tendencies...thinking about tasks and people, worrying about things, checking email, you get the picture. But at least I have some perspective too.

October will be a welcome month. Ryan finishes his last MBA class (October 17th at 10pm but who is counting?), my commitment at work finishes, we'll celebrate Ryan's 34th birthday on October 24th...

and we'll have an AMAZING concert at George Fox University with Tyrone Wells on October 6th. A benefit concert for Cystic Fibrosis...all proceeds go to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation! More info to come...tickets are just $10...we are really excited! Stay tuned and add Tyrone to your Pandora station. My cousin is SO good! :)

On the way to kindergarten!

2011-09-10T21:39:00.000-07:00

The kindergarten journey has begun!

First with an ice cream social and school supply drop-off. It was neat to see Quinn's classroom and talk with his kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Park. We left all of Quinn's supplies and did a little exploring of the library. Quinn is pretty thrilled about the Cat in the Hat in the library. I love that he wanted to go see where the books were.Tuesday morning was an Orientation for Quinn. He spent an hour in his classroom with his teacher and half of the class learning about kindergarten. His teacher walked his group down the hall to his class...Quinn had been kind of nervous about going with a few tears the night before but once we were there he was ready to go. Sela and I watched him head down the hall. What a big step! I spent some time talking with our friend Heather who works at the school in the office! Big blessing because we are navigating Quinn's medication and any additional health needs in the school environment with her help.At the end of the hour classroom visit there was a tea party! With the woman for whom the school is named--Joan Austin! All the students and parents/guests went to the library where there were real tea cups and saucers, tea or lemonade, and lots of cookies. Our friend Heather told Sela about the sugar cubes...and the first thing Sela asked for at the tea was a sugar cube! And she asked again while Mrs. Austin was talking. Ummm...more sugar cubes if you are quiet? Here you go.
Kindergarten officially kicked off on Thursday. When Quinn put on his backpack Thursday morning it was like super-Quinn had arrived! No nerves, just excitement. He was ready to go! Sela wanted to wear her backpack too--she was ready to start! We all went, trooping in, eyes wide open. There were hugs and kisses and Quinn joined the line of kids heading to his classroom. No tears from anyone...in fact, I was surprised I didn't cry. Instead, I was really agitated. Just a way of dealing with stress I guess.

And after 2 hours and 40 minutes, I headed back over to pick up Quinn. He came out with his class and when he saw me he came running and gave me a huge bear hug. "Mommy!" And he immediately wanted to sit down and show me the papers in his backpack. He thought it was a great morning. He was ready to go back. I asked him what the biggest surprise was...to which he said, "The rules on the playground! You can't run in the field." He spent the rest of Thursday bouncing off the walls! He was so excited!

Friday was his second day. Eager to head back, he wanted to make sure we weren't late. I was nervous because he had to go to the gym to wait with all the kids for the teachers to come get their classes. They wait with their own class but I wondered how he would do with all the people. After I picked him up, we talked about it and he said he wanted to go to school earlier so he could wait for his teacher longer. Ummm....OK. I think he is an extrovert.

He also decided that Eric Carle was his new favorite author because that is his teacher's favorite author. "Mom? Can we check out 18 books by Eric Carle? Mrs. Park said if we tell our parents about Eric Carle we would WOW them. Are you wowed?" Ummm...I'm always wowed by Quinn.

We are excited and nervous and thrilled for Quinn. I'm interested in seeing how the next month unfolds for him. He is already reading and writing. He can look at words and seems to intuitively know what it says. He knows three kids in his class and we are praying for some good interaction with classmates. I'm so glad too that Quinn has sweet little friends to continue playing with and spending time with.

We think we have a good plan set up for Quinn to be able to get his medications at school and have some leeway if there are things that he needs to do for his health. He can use the bathroom whenever he needs to. He can bring the snacks he needs even if it doesn't look "healthy". He can get his medication for snack time from the office. We'll continue to work with the staff through this process.

Sela turns 2!

2011-09-10T20:54:00.000-07:00

Sela Ruth turned 2 on September 1st!

Here is Sela Ruth on her birthday!

Sela waiting for her birthday cake...she must be thinking "Are you looking at me?"

Sela is spirited, talkative, joyful, assertive, and funny. She loves being wherever Quinn is and loves doing whatever Quinn is doing. She loves her "babies" and totes them around the house. She loves firefighters, Larry-Boy, cars, trains, and hats.

She LOVES music! When she hears a beat, she starts to move. If she is sitting in a shopping cart it is a bounce. If it is in the car it is a fully body shimmy. And if she is somewhere she can move her feet, then watch out! Hands moving, feet going, head bopping. She loves singing. Loves.it.

Some favorite Sela phrases:
"I go too!"
"Good morning, Kin (Sela's word for Quinn)!"
"Where Kin go?"
"Bless you!"
"You okay?"
"We go bye-bye?"
"I jump on tramp-leen (trampoline) too!"
"We read story?"
"Please?" "Thank you!"
"Good job!"
"I go night-night"
"Where my babies?"
"CP time!" (what Sela calls Quinn's therapy)
"Tickle me"
"Chase me"
"Cut the pickle"

Favorite songs Sela Can Sing:
Jesus Loves Me
The Larry Boy theme song
Fireman Sam theme song
Open and shut them/Oh the Lord is Good to Me

She is such a fun and special girl! We can't believe she is two!

happy birthday sela ruth

Writer's Block

2011-08-27T15:54:00.000-07:00

I don't know if it is writer's block or an actual over abundance of things to say and not enough time to say it but I've avoided writing for awhile. Even right now I just had to tell myself to sit down and start writing. And write about what I'm thinking right now. Which is that I really do want to write, but I struggle to find the blocks of time I want in order to write.

I've mulled over why I come back to writing time after time (yes, that was a Cyndi Lauper reference) and I think it is because in past years I've been in professional positions and relationships that have allowed me the space to process, and talk, and listen. And in this season of life, I'm trying to figure out how to continue to do that.

Awhile ago my cousin said something like this to me:

"You're kind of an old soul. Do you get time to talk other people?"

And while my children are people and I talk with them a lot, I knew what he meant. Do I get to talk to other people.

I think that is why I need to rethink blogging and writing because I want to talk to other people and right now there isn't the space to have those conversations where you dig deep, listen, ask questions, and wait. Or places to teach. Or lives to listen to. That just isn't this season.

But I still have these thoughts, ideas, moments...and it is just me. Washing the dishes. Thinking about God's calling in my life. Or His faithfulness in confusing times. Or what He is teaching me about being a wife or "wife-ing" :) Or budget thoughts. Or food thoughts. And then I'm folding laundry. And thinking about simplicity. Or immigration. Or prayer.

It isn't a spirit of discontent. In fact, I'm really grateful for this season. I can say that I am thankful for where I am. I can celebrate Ryan, Quinn, and Sela. I am glad that I get to care for our home and that we can spend time together. I feel the "yes" in these things.

I think it is me realizing that I've been waiting for a place to put all these other thoughts, musings, pondering, lessons, experiences, wonderings...and now I'm wondering that if instead of waiting to have a conversation, I need to be writing them here. Maybe like I did with my thoughts about Quinn's journey in February. Maybe this is the direction to move. Not to be clever or perfect or witty or present an image or whatever. Writing here in order to process this life-story that I am living and because I do have these moments I want to share. To be fully me.

Maybe writer's block unblocked.

Music for Monday

2011-08-01T15:19:00.000-07:00

Ahh...a thoughtful song for today...

Kindness by Chris Tomlin

Open up the skies of mercy
And rain down the cleansing flood
Healing waters rise around us
Hear our cries lord let 'em rise

It's your kindness Lord
That leads us to repentance
Your favor Lord, is our desire
It's your beauty Lord
That makes us stand in silence
Your love
Your love
Is better than life

We can feel
Your mercy falling
You are turning our hearts back again
Hear our praises rise to heaven
Draw us near Lord
Meet us here

It's your kindness Lord
That leads us to repentance
Your favor Lord, is our desire
It's your beauty Lord
That makes us stand in silence
Your love
Your love
Is better than life
Is better than life

Your love

Open up the skies of mercy
And rain down the cleansing flood
Healing waters rise around us
Hear our cries Lord let 'em rise

Music for Monday

2011-07-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

I needed some truth music...

some groove music...

and today this is the one.

Check out the video for "Just Wanna Say" by Israel Houghton...

and turn up the volume

and try not to dance.

Slowly

2011-07-22T15:20:00.000-07:00

I had a few hours to myself the other day and in the quiet I thought: I am tired. I don't have any good excuses. I can't pinpoint one specific reason. I just thought: I am tired. Maybe even in a bit of a slump. Feeling unmotivated. Not depressed. Just worn out.

For someone who has a long list of "shoulds" in my head, I've had to acknowledge:

Sometimes things don't happen when they should, they happen when they do.

And so instead of tackling everything on my to do list (like pull the weeds that are being held at bay), I've been doing things like reading. In the last five weeks I've read The Help, The Friday Night Knitting Club, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played With Fire, and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. Ummm...which I must admit on certain occasions I thought that adrenaline would overtake me or that I would pass out because I was holding my breath as the mystery unfolded. Not exactly light reading. All finished and I'm taking a break from these types of books. Too much for my heart in 35 days...

And now I'm reading Eugene Peterson's A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society. Good. Challenging. Refreshing. Real. Timely.

I am grateful that there is sunshine today. And that there will be sunshine this weekend. Oh my goodness. So thankful!

I have been thinking and processing and mulling and pondering. Asking myself various questions:

Why am I feeling unmotivated?
What is stopping me from doing what I think I need to do?
What are projects I feel need to be done?
What kind of routine and schedule would best help me right now?

and

How do we want to live?
What is life-giving?
Am I living in a way that is congruent with what I say is important to me?
How am I growing spiritually?
What does Ryan need right now?
What does Quinn need right now?
What does Sela need right now?

and

What are our financial goals?
What are ways that I could earn additional income? (if you have thoughts, I'm open to ideas...I don't bake, make crafts/sew, or take photos...other options?)

Instead of tackling other projects, I've taken the kids to the park more often. I baked two batches of cookies this week and made gluten-free scones for Ryan. We've been sick two more times since the end of May and I think Ryan is on the mend from his last bout. And...in less than three days Ryan will be done with his last MBA class of the summer. And then he'll have a break from grad school. And then only one.more.class. Then he will have his MBA! If anyone should be tired, it is Ryan. Well, he is tired. Work. Grad school. Family. Life. Health. Seriously.

So, maybe we're all just a little worn out.

Sometimes things don't happen when they should, they happen when they do.

Crooks in the backyard

2011-07-21T14:45:00.000-07:00

At some point we must have gone to the park and there must have been a work crew from a prison with a sheriff overseeing the "contribution to society" (i.e. mowing the grass). I was hesitant to hang out (I have seen 'O Brother, Where Art Thou') so instead we headed out to a different park.

Somehow this vague memory has come to the very front of Quinn's mind so today most of his plans have included creating parks in which his sheriff police car sits and oversees "the work".

Right now he and a friend are playing outside. And over hearing their conversation I've discovered that Quinn is "Crookie" and his friend is "Crooks-ana" and they are being forced to work out in the backyard by the sheriff (me).

I hope he doesn't ask me for an orange jumpsuit to use in his dress up clothes :)

Coffee.

2011-07-20T23:58:00.001-07:00

If it takes coffee beans and water to make coffee, could I say that I was drinking water when I drink my coffee? Multi-tasking in my beverage intake?

Quinn prayers

2011-06-09T20:49:00.000-07:00

Tonight Quinn picked me to pray for and here is what he said:

Dear Lord,

Thank you for my mom. Thank you that she is a nice mom.
Thank you that she is the smartest mom in the whole world.
Encourage her to do the things that she needs to.

Thank you Jesus.
Amen.

He can pray for me any day of the week.

Great Strides Walk

2011-05-22T21:20:00.000-07:00

Saturday was the Great Strides Walk! My blog series, "Sharing the Love for Quinn" mentioned this walk and how we were raising money for and awareness about Cystic Fibrosis.

Team Win With Quinn assembled in Portland with 900 other people to walk for friends and loved ones with Cystic Fibrosis (CF). We consider many people to be a part of Team Win With Quinn but it was a joy to have aunts, uncles, cousins, family, and friends represent those that love and support Quinn as we navigate through this world with CF.

Quinn was jazzed to be a leader and was trying to decide what he would say to the group when they all gathered. When the time came, he got shy :) He was excited to hold one of the signs.

The teams were sent along the 3 mile walk based on how much money they had raised. All the figures weren't in for our team yet but I am pleased to report that with your help we raised $4631.45! Plus, students at George Fox University raised $3701 for Team Win With Quinn through a charity event called Mr. Bruin.

SO the grand total is $8332.45 (with a few more dollars yet to be counted)! Isn't that amazing! Our goal was $5000...that is $3332.45 over our goal! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Here is the team at the half way mark! I'm not in the photos...not because I was taking them but because I was sick and at home with Sela. It was a sad, sad morning with a lot of tears from this mama. I had a fever and we felt it wasn't a good plan for me to be around folks for the day. My sister in law would send me texts with pictures and I would cry and celebrate whatever they were doing at that moment. We asked the team to wear green (Quinn's favorite color) so Sela and I wore green at home.

The Portland Great Strides event raised over $200,000 and had the most participation they've ever had. It was such a good thing for us to be a part of this year. To be advocates in a new way for Quinn and others with CF, and to identify with this community (all CF patients were asked to wear a little button rose so patients could make wise decisions about interaction. CF patients are asked to have limited contact with one another because studies show that bacteria transmitted from one patient to another is tougher to eradicate).

Teams were there for little ones with CF, older ones with CF, and in memory of friends and family who had CF.

After the actual walk, there was a big picnic lunch and an opportunity to head to Oaks Park (an amusement park). Quinn had a great time playing with his cousins on lots of rides. He had an adventurous spirit!

By the time Quinn got home he was totally wiped out! And started complaining that his ear was hurting. A LOT. After a quick trip to the doctor and a call to the CF doctor, Quinn got on a round of antibiotics for an ear infection and we got some instructions for additional ways to help Quinn was a lingering cold and cough.

It was a BIG, BIG day! And a BIG, BIG fundraising effort! Thank you for journeying with us...either in person or through our blog. Thanks for taking the time to care: whether through donations, words of encouragement, prayer, or some kindness. Each is special to us.

Thanks for sharing the love for Quinn!

Music for Monday

2011-05-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

Hosanna by Brooke Fraser
(sung here by Hillsong United)

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes

Yeeeah

I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing

[Chorus]
Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest [x2]

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith

I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees

[Chorus]

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity

[Chorus x2]

Hosanna in the highest

Little Sister Watching Brother

2011-05-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

Nose pressed against the screen door watching big brother. Little sister loves big brother.

List, list, list

2011-05-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

I am a list maker.
Boxes to check off. My own little system. My brains in a book.

It appears that my son may be a list maker as well. Illustrated.

A list of possible birthday gifts for his cousin.

Lists. Side by side. I didn't know that being Type A was hereditary.

The Year that Changed the World

2011-05-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

One of the things that is life-giving to me is reading. Fiction, non-fiction, anything. I love history. I can think of lots of things I'd like to learn more about or things I would research for a PhD and one of them is the series of events in the late 80's that led to the fall of the Berlin Wall. The fall of communism in Eastern Europe, the changes in the USSR, the individuals that sacrificed for the opportunity to have choices. I finally got a chance to read "The Year that Changed the World: The Untold Story Behind the Fall of the Berlin Wall" by Michael Meyer. Great journalistic account from interviews during the revolutions. Conversations, rallies, strategy sessions, and thoughts from leadership--those that sought leadership and those that had leadership thrust upon them. History really is the study of leadership. Reading this book while watching the wave of changes in the Middle East--different circumstances and history but similar in the willingness of individuals to stand up for their commitment for change and a better future. I lived in Egypt in the Spring of 1997 and it holds a special place in my heart.

Prayer

2011-05-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

A picture taken by my brother-in-law Kyler during a prayer time for
Derek and Tori's soon-to-arrive baby boy.

The photo Kyler took plus Kyler's artistic magic.

A sweet gift from Kyler to remember a precious moment.

Sweet Feet

2011-05-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

I love Quinn's questions. After Palm Sunday services Quinn asked me what happened to King Herod after Jesus was a man? Ahhhhh...good question. Do you know that it is Herod's son, also called Herod Antipas, that questions and mocks Jesus before handing him back over to Pilate (Luke 23)? As a side note, isn't that an interesting continuation of the relationship of Herod's family with Jesus? Herod wanted to find the baby Jesus in order to kill him. The son of Herod finds Jesus and participates in sending him to his death. Palm Sunday Quinn and I began reading through Luke and the Passion Week. I appreciate how open and interested Quinn is in hearing from the Bible. Thursday night (Maundy Thursday or Holy Thursday) we read through John 13 about Jesus washing the disciples' feet as well as reading in Luke about the Passover Meal. I told Quinn that we were going to do something together and Quinn was eager to discover why we had a bowl of water on the floor. I told Quinn that I was going to wash his feet like Jesus had washed the feet of the disciples.

And then Quinn wanted to wash everyone's feet.

It was a really sweet time of foot washing. Talking about Jesus' words to serve and love. Serving one another. And as Quinn washed Sela's feet he said, "I love you, Sela".

Good Friday we read through Luke's account of Jesus' crucifixion. So painful. We talked about how Jesus was the "Light of the World". I had a candle lit and as we finished reading about Jesus' death, we blew out the candle because the Light of the World had died.

Sunday morning we turned up the Easter Song loud and celebrated the resurrection of Jesus. And lit our candle.

He is Risen!

He is Risen indeed!

Music for Monday

2011-05-09T09:13:00.000-07:00

Everything by Tim Hughes

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything

We sang this song in our Women's Bible Study group last Thursday and our worship leader spoke a few additional verses:

God in my cleaning
God in my changing dirty diapers
God in my hard telephone calls

It struck me as such a strong reminder of God's presence in us and every moment of the day. Wow...

a food processor: May Meal Plan

2011-05-08T22:15:00.000-07:00

I finally did a little writing for "a food processor" which is my other blog. If you like to think about food, meal planning, and the like then hop on over and take a look!

The Cheesecake Factory for Quinn

2011-05-07T15:00:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago we were able to go to the Cheesecake Factory to help celebrate my brother in law's birthday! It was a fun time, the food was good, and of course there was dessert!

Quinn's eating has improved A LOT! He has been asking for food, eating more, and enjoying meals. He actually asked us for french fries from McDonald's which he had NEVER done before and we were glad to oblige!

When you go to the Cheesecake Factory, it is a great opportunity for Quinn to get a LOT of calories. And of course I took one for the team to help Quinn with his cheesecake of choice, Reeses Peanut Butter Chocolate Cake Cheesecake. Yes, it was sooooooooo gooooooooood.

Quinn's latest trip to the CF Clinic

2011-05-06T22:43:00.000-07:00

We were up at the CF Clinic this past week for a regular check up for Quinn. At our last appointment we discovered that Quinn had gained less than a pound between his November and February appointments. One change made at the February appointment was to add an additional half can of formula each night when we do Quinn's night tube feeding.

In the last three months, Quinn's appetite has GROWN! Seriously, it is remarkable!

We felt like Quinn had been gaining weight but wanted to see the "official scale" at the clinic. In February Quinn weighed 37lbs, 4.1ozs. In May, Quinn weighs 41lbs, 7.1ozs.

HE GAINED 4 POUNDS! WHAT!? SERIOUSLY!?

He also grew another inch. He feels so big and heavy! We were so thrilled and so were his doctor, nurse, and nutritionist! While the extra formula is helpful, it really is Quinn's improved eating that is making the difference.

Quinn also gave multiple vials of blood...not fun but he was a total trooper and scored a nerf gun out of the deal from the medical staff. His labs came back great which is SO wonderful. His lungs were great which always makes us glad.

For now, we just keep doing what we're doing. And enjoy a great appointment.

Music for Monday

2011-05-02T15:30:00.000-07:00

I had to pull out the Easter Song again today...because we don't have to just celebrate Easter on Easter. We get to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus all the time. And, I found Keith Green singing the Easter Song live at the Daisy Club in LA in 1982. Some old school Keith Green is good for the soul...7 minutes of someone passionate about Jesus.

"The Easter Song"

Hear the bells ringing
They're singing that you can be born again
Hear the bells ringing
They're singing Christ is risen from the dead

The angel up on the tombstone
Said he has risen, just as he said
Quickly now, go tell his disciples
That Jesus Christ is no longer dead

Joy to the word, he has risen, hallelujah
He's risen, hallelujah
He's risen, hallelujah

Hear the bells ringing
They're singing that you can be healed right now
Hear the bells ringing, they're singing
Christ, he will reveal it now

The angels, they all surround us
And they are ministering Jesus' power
Quickly now, reach out and receive it
For this could be your glorious hour

Joy to the world, he has risen, hallelujah
He's risen, hallelujah
He's risen, hallelujah, hallelujah

The angel up on the tombstone
Said he has risen, just as he said
Quickly now, go tell his disciples
That Jesus Christ is no longer dead

Joy to the world, he has risen, hallelujah
He's risen, hallelujah
He's risen, hallelujah
Hallelujah

Music for Monday

2011-04-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

"Mighty to Save" by Hillsong United

Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

(Chorus:)
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of Salvation
He rose & conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears & failures
Fill my life again

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender (I surrender)

(Chorus:) (2x)
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of Salvation
He rose & conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

(Bridge:) (2x)
Shine Your light &
Let the whole world see
We're singing
For the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus

(Chorus)
You're the Savior
You can move the mountains
Lord You are mighty to save
You are mighty to save
Forever
Author of Salvation
You rose & conquered the grave
Yes You conquered the grave

(Bridge:)

Sickness returned to our home and I think it might finally be moving out but not soon enough! It has been challenging. I finished a round of antibiotics on a Monday and then was sick again on a Thursday. I'm not gonna lie. I cried. Not fun being sick but just a lousy time to be sick as life has been full for Ryan with work and grad school and Quinn's birthday was the 31st and Sela turned 19 months on the 1st and all I could do was lay in bed and take pills and eye drops because I had pink eye too--just me thankfully but who gets pink eye plus some crazy head and chest virus! (I know that was a run on sentence but doesn't that just say it all when everything in life is just "running on") I'm still recovering and we made it through last week.

Life is always happening so there are birthday stories to tell, an exciting Cystic Fibrosis Foundation fundraising event that took place over the weekend that raised MONEY for Team Win With Quinn (yeah Mr Bruin at George Fox!), the end of Superwoman, and a new book to read.

Music for Monday

2011-03-28T07:35:00.000-07:00

"I Will Offer Up My Life" by Matt Redman

I will offer up my life
In spirit and truth,
Pouring out the oil of love
As my worship to You
In surrender I must give my every part;
Lord, receive the sacrifice
Of a broken heart

CHORUS:
Jesus, what can I give, what can I bring
To so faithful a friend, to so loving a King?
Savior, what can be said, what can be sung
As a praise of Your name
For the things You have done?
Oh my words could not tell, not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart

You deserve my every breath
For You've paid the great cost;
Giving up Your life to death,
Even death on a cross
You took all my shame away,
There defeated my sin
Opened up the gates of heaven
And have beckoned me in

Jesus, what can I give, what can I bring
To so faithful a friend, to so loving a King?
Savior, what can be said, what can be sung
As a praise of Your name
For the things You have done?
Oh my words could not tell, not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart

The weeks since Valentine's Day have been full and we've all been cycling through illness. It has been a l o n g s t r e t c h. We are all eager to be well. At the same time. This morning Quinn and Sela are still asleep. I'm actually all ready for the day. Ryan is gearing up for a return to work after a week and a half off. The house is quiet.

This week Quinn turns 5! Sela has been talking up a STORM including yesterday waving goodbye at the door and saying, "Thanks for coming...See you later!" What! Sela will be 19 months on Friday!

We have a new little nephew...Phinehas Luther...who arrived on Saturday morning. And we got to have a family shower for my sister-in-law and brother-in-law on Sunday for their little boy who will arrive in May. Awesome to celebrate new life.

Thinking about margins, rest, John 11, and what is life-giving. Thinking about Japan. Thinking about Libya. Thinking about Newberg.

Hope to write some more soon...

Music for Monday

2011-03-14T15:01:00.000-07:00

"Beautiful" by Phil Wickham

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It's all proclaiming who you are
You're beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful

I see Your face, I see Your face, I see Your face
You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

Listen to the song along with a time lapse video of God's handiwork...

Our small group has begun to read "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. I've been challenged already...I get caught focused on the tasks and stuff of life and forget to look out at what God has created. To see it. That He is revealing himself through His creation like Paul wrote to the Romans. The wind, the clouds, the sun, the moon, the grass, the daffodils, the rain, the beauty, the power, the soft, the strength, the unique...all of it.

God is beautiful.

honey...

2011-03-10T20:19:00.000-08:00

So the Dougherty household has been fighting illness for about a month now.

Quinn had bronchitis and an ear infection. I'll admit when the doctor ordered a chest x-ray after hearing something in his lungs, I freaked out. After a round of high powered antibiotics he is doing well.

Sela has had a cold since Valentine's Day. The never ending cold. A trip to the doctor confirmed a cold. A trip to the ER one night because she was holding on to walls when she walked and seemed disoriented revealed an ear infection. A round of antibiotics later and she was good to go...for about 24 hours and now the cold is back. She is in bed right now coughing in her sleep.

Ryan has pneumonia. Pneumonia! UGH! He doesn't feel good. He is trying to take care of himself and do some half days at work here and there. Both lungs have "the gunk".

I was sick. All four of us sick at one time...first time and I hope it is the last time. So I was sick and now I'm just really tired. It has been a long stretch without much consistent sleep. I expect Sela and I will be up tonight because she is uncomfortable.

Everyone has something. Right now our focus is on getting healthy. Prayers are of course very welcome!

Here is our little medical tidbit via our pediatrician...spoonfuls of honey are as effective when tested against cough medicine. Seriously. If you're coughing, pull out the honey.

Off to bed!

Music for Monday

2011-02-21T09:54:00.000-08:00

The Servant Song...sung at our wedding...

Will you let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I might have the grace
To let you be my servant too.

We are pilgrims on a journey.
We are friends upon the road.
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load.

I will hold the Christ-light for you
In the night time of your fear.
I will hold my hand out to you;
Speak the peace you long to hear.

I will weep when you are weeping.
When you laugh, I'll laugh with you.
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we've seen this journey through.

(Repeat Verse #1)

Share the Love for Quinn: Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T14:32:00.000-08:00

A Valentine's Day Message from Quinn...

Happy Valentine's Day to one and all...thanks for all the love and kindness you've shown towards us as we've shared some of our journey. We deeply appreciate it! Sharing everyday via facebook has ended and the family blog continues. We will still share from time to time what is happening with Quinn as we deal with the challenge of cystic fibrosis. You can still donate from now until May to support the research that helps Quinn and others who have CF. Thanks for sharing the love for Quinn...

His peace to you,
Meredith

Music for Monday: Peace by Rich Mullins

Though we're strangers, still I love you
I love you more than your mask
And you know you have to trust this to be true
And I know that's much to ask
But lay down your fears, come and join this feast
He has called us here, you and me

And may peace rain down from Heaven
Like little pieces of the sky
Little keepers of the promise
Falling on these souls
This drought has dried
In His Blood and in His Body
In the Bread and in this Wine

Peace to you
Peace of Christ to you

And though I love you, still we're strangers
Prisoners in these lonely hearts
And though our blindness separates us
Still His light shines in the dark
And His outstretched arms
are still strong enough to reach
Behind these prison bars to set us free

So may peace rain down from Heaven
Like little pieces of the sky
Little keepers of the promise
Falling on these souls the drought has dried
In His Blood and in His Body
In this Bread and in this Wine

Peace to you
Peace of Christ to you

And may peace rain down from Heaven
Like little pieces of the sky
Like those little keepers of the promise
Falling on these souls the draught has dried
In His Blood and in His Body
In the Bread and in this Wine

Peace to you
Peace of Christ to you
Peace to you
Peace of Christ to you

Share the Love for Quinn: New Normal

2011-02-11T14:36:00.000-08:00

This morning, I heard Sela talking in her crib as Ryan got ready to head to work. I slowly got out of bed and headed to Sela's room to talk to her. She was eager to get "up" and "out" (Sela's orders) of her room and we walked together to the kitchen where I turned the coffee pot on. The sounds of brewing began and Quinn's face appeared around the corner as he walked into the kitchen. "Hi Mom." Sela was ecstatic to see Quinn. Hugs were given. Hair was ruffled. Discussions were had about taking a bath. Quinn tried to negotiate "a rinse" but Mom held firm to full bath, hair wash included. And Sela wanted her milk and "Da-da". This is normal.

I think about getting Quinn's medication and what time we need to get breathing treatments and CPT started. I think about what each person needs to eat this morning--what will pack a caloric punch for Quinn, be yummy and nutritious for Sela, and that I will remember to eat something besides drinking my coffee. Is Quinn feeling OK. Any signs of cold or sniffles or coughing. Any medications to refill? Am I making sure that Sela gets the attention she needs?

This is our normal too.

Sometimes this journey feels isolating. Like driving with everyone else on the highway but always taking a detour.

Our normal continues to evolve. Things that felt so odd and uncomfortable originally now are a part of our daily routine. We are making a conscious effort to be consistent with Quinn's care without letting it be the focus of his life or our parenting. I'm a task person and completing the tasks surrounding Quinn's care have dominated my thoughts at times. I'm learning that I can help him complete those tasks and still create space for playing, having a fun adventure, and experiencing the rest of life.

There are things that I am thankful for. When Quinn turned one I was able to think back on all the things and people I was thankful for in this post. There are new things that I am able to add to that list today:

Quinn's health--things are not perfect but he is doing SO WELL! I am thankful for his energy, life, curiosity, hugs, and all round "Quinn-ness".

Sela's health--when we had peace about having a second child, it wasn't without questions. Because CF is a genetic disease, there was a one in four possibility that Sela would have CF too. She does not have CF, praise the Lord! There is a 50% possibility that she is a carrier of the CF gene and a 25% possibility that she is not a carrier at all. She will never develop CF.

Our family--there are four of us doing life together and I am so grateful for Ryan and our two kids. Seriously.

The rest of our family--our kids have awesome grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. What a gift to have amazing family!

Our friends--from our small group and beyond. Sharing the journey is so crucial. Speaking truth and love to one another. Laughing. Praying. Talking. Crying. Talking some more. Eating. So good.

People listening and reading--thank you for reading about Cystic Fibrosis and Quinn's journey. The comments and notes and donations to Team Win with Quinn have been awesome!

We will continue to raise money for Cystic Fibrosis research and in May we will walk in the Great Strides Walk. Team Win with Quinn will gather together in Salem to walk in support of those with CF and research for CF. It will be a good day to walk and remember that we are doing something to help Quinn and others with Cystic Fibrosis!

My blog will continue...a chance to write, talk about family, share about Quinn, things I love like organizing, reading, and living. The grand and the mundane. My word for 2011 is life-giving. How I spend my time, my thoughts, opportunities we say yes or no to, and experiences for Quinn and Sela. That we walk in confidence and hope and not fear. To choose what is life-giving.

And Quinn...thanks for sharing the love for Quinn.

Share the Love for Quinn: An Extra Bellybutton

2011-02-10T15:00:00.000-08:00

In September, as Quinn started preschool, we discovered that some of the kids were asking Quinn about his feeding tube. When he would raise his arms his little belly would peek out from under his shirt and you could see a little white button on his belly. Quinn wasn't totally comfortable talking to the kids about it so his teacher asked if I would come in and share about the "extra bellybutton".

I asked Quinn if he would help me teach the kids about his feeding tube and he was all about being in charge :) So together we talked to the kids about things we need to make us healthy. Things we use to do that...like tennis shoes, a band aid, glasses.

And for Quinn...a feeding tube.

We have a special teddy bear that has a feeding tube too that Quinn could show the group. Quinn showed the group his tube too but we also discussed that Quinn could say no if someone asked to see his tube. Good to think about the power of choice. It went well. I think that Quinn felt empowered to answer questions or say no if he was uncomfortable.

The feeding tube. Sigh. This has been quite a journey. Not everyone with Cystic Fibrosis needs a feeding tube but everyone with CF needs a LOT of calories. The short version of the Quinn/Calorie story is this:

Quinn spent the first 18 months of life with undiagnosed acid reflux. He was always throwing up his milk. He was never very interested in eating thought he always had a ton of energy. He had mild dysphagia (difficulty swallowing) which also complicated his eating issues. Even though we were finding as many ways as possible to increase his calories with what he would eat, it was never enough. Once Quinn got on reflux medication, things improved but never resulted in major caloric intake.

We've met with two food therapists, an occupational therapist, and seriously considered taking Quinn to two different food therapy clinics. I've read a number of articles on food issues and suggestions for improving food interest, volume eaten, and interaction with food.

Sigh. I love to eat. Ryan loves to eat. Sela loves to eat. Quinn does not. Thus, the feeding tube. While I cried and cried about this decision, our medical team highly recommended it and we really saw no other way to get Quinn the calories he needs. There is a HIGHLY significant correlation between nutritional health and lung health so experimenting with a lot with other methods was not a risk we wanted to take.

For me, the feeding tube felt like I had failed Quinn. I was his primary caregiver and I couldn't get him what he needed. I associated feeding tubes with people that were dying and could no longer eat. My anxiety was very high about the tube. It meant a surgery for Quinn. Not a thrilling prospect. But we decided it was the best decision for Quinn in the long run.

I think it has been the best decision. All of the drama around food GREATLY decreased. Knowing that he would get calories at night while he slept meant the tug of war around food and trying to get him to eat more could subside. He would eat what he could eat and then the night time feeding tube feed would supplement what he had already consumed.

So now, Quinn gets 850 calories at night of formula. When he goes to bed we get his pump set up, flush his tube with some water and then attach all the necessary cords. It typically runs from 8PM until 2AM or 3AM. I set my alarm for 2AM, turn off the pump, and disconnect the cords. From the start of the pump until the end of the feed, Quinn can't just get up and walk around. If he needs to get out of bed to use the bathroom then he has to call for us so we can pause the pump and disconnect him.

Sometimes the cords come detached from his tube...and then we just have a big formula mess all over Quinn and the bed. Or if Quinn coughs in the night, this can sometimes trigger him throwing up.

Quinn is resilient. He doesn't always love having to be connected to cords at night but he is SO cooperative and patient with us. He has figured out how to move around his bed, how to get comfortable to go to sleep, or tease us if we spill water on him while we're flushing his tube.

It is painful if the tube is pulled and it is uncomfortable to him when we have to replace the tube. But again, he is so resilient. While I wish Quinn would eat 2000 calories a day on his own, I'm thankful that a feeding tube is possible. It is helping him get the calories he needs and that is essential in this journey with CF.

If you would like to help Share the Love for Quinn you can donate to CF research with Team Win with Quinn.

Share the Love for Quinn: Shimmy and Shake

2011-02-09T14:30:00.000-08:00

Quinn does something called Chest Percussion Therapy or CPT twice a day. CPT is a treatment that has been going on for years but research has helped determine the most effective ways for it to be done. The idea is that the vibrations of percussion or pounding and vibrating the body--specifically the lungs--helps to clear out mucus that plugs the airways.

For two years we've done this manually using little pink mallets after Quinn's breathing treatment. In November, our CF doctors recommended we add an additional breathing treatment to make two a day and that we purchase the "Smart Vest" for CPT. Instead of the little mallets, the machine acts as an air compressor shooting air in rapid bursts, through a tube, and into this special vest that the patient wears. It vibrates the body and you can set the machine for how rapid the air bursts are sent or how tight the vest is.

First, he uses an inhaler to open up the airways of his lungs. Second, he does a breathing treatment. In the morning, before school he does a breathing treatment for 11 minutes with an inhaled medicine that acts like little scissors cutting through blockage. After doing the breathing treatment, he straps on a red vest to do CPT--yes, he did go with the red vest as it was most like a firefighter. The first ten minutes is set at one level of rapid air intensity. After ten minutes the machine stops and Quinn coughs. Then we have another ten minutes of higher intensity pounding and we finish with Quinn coughing again. The coughing is to help clear out the mucus. The first session, from start to finish takes about 38 minutes.

During his second therapy session, he does the same steps with the inhaler and the breathing treatment but this time the medicine is a special saline solution and it takes about 17 minutes. Then on goes the red vest and CPT begins. It ends the same way with us telling Quinn to cough. This session takes about 45 minutes.

To help with each session, we let Quinn pick out a show to watch. The video below is 49 seconds long and gives you a little glimpse at what CPT looks like at our house. It is a noisy video because the CPT machine is very loud when it is on and the show is turned up louder. But it is real life and real life isn't quiet. Here is a sneak peek of how Quinn shimmies and shakes.

If you would like to help Share the Love for Quinn you can donate to CF research with Team Win with Quinn.

Share the Love for Quinn: Dollars and Sense

2011-02-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

We've wanted to share a little bit about various aspects of having a family member with a chronic illness and one additional element in our household is that we have two chronic illnesses. Ryan is a Type 1 Diabetic. Diagnosed when he was 8, he has had years of taking shots of insulin and for the last 8 years he has had an insulin pump. Ryan has a unique take on living with a chronic illness and the changes that have happened over the years because of research and medicine. That is exciting! Both Ryan and Quinn need specific medications, medical equipment, doctors' appointments, and high quality self-care...and all of those things typically come with a price tag.

If you think about your family budget, you can see percentages that you attach to certain categories. Maybe 40% goes to housing payments, 10% goes to tithes or donations, maybe 20% goes to auto and gas, or 20% goes to school loans each month. However your budget breaks down, it is different from family to family.

For our family budget, 20% goes to medical expenses. We would say that we have good insurance. But everything is expensive! One medication we use during one of Quinn's breathing treatments is $5195.04 for a three month supply--we only pay a $70 co-pay. The enzymes, called Creon 12, which Quinn takes any time he is going to eat are $1559.27 for a one month supply and again we only pay the co-pay.

If we did not have insurance, as is sometimes the case for individuals with chronic illness, there is worry about how to pay for anything on top of the issue of already having the illness. The vest that Quinn recently got for his Chest Percussion Therapy session was over $14,000. Because of insurance we only paid $567. And still, 20% of our budget goes to medical expenses.

We work with six different pharmacies and two medical supply companies. We received shipments of supplies from UPS, FedEx, and a local delivery service multiple times each month. Ryan got a pair of shoes in the mail last week and I had assumed that the box was more medical supplies. At least the shoes were a fun treat! :) I've learned a lot about insurance and, overall, have had pretty good experiences with insurance agents. I've learned more about tax deductions and percentage of income and what you can actually deduct related to medical expenses.

On our journey I'm thankful for the jobs we've had, the insurance we've had, for the "benevolent benefactors" in our lives who have generously given to us from their own resources, and for opportunities we've had to receive excellent health care. My sense is that we have much to be thankful for--a warm house, food in the refrigerator, a hot shower, doctors within walking and driving distance, clean water, clean clothes--it is a luxury in the world to have your own washer and dryer, and medicine.

Sometimes I get tired of thinking about money and sending money to the various companies or hospitals. While I wish we didn't have to spend any money on medical expenses, I am thankful that we have access to the medicine we need. And the research that is being done about CF is important and has already improved the quality of life for people with CF so much. And I believe that there will be more discoveries soon!

Please consider donating to Team Win with Quinn--all money goes towards research to find a cure for Cystic Fibrosis.

Share the Love for Quinn: Music for Monday

2011-02-07T07:00:00.000-08:00

I chose to follow Jesus a long time ago. And I can't imagine going through some of the things that we've gone through without him. It hasn't been easy and that is with him. Faith and hope aren't portals through which you crawl into sunshine, sparkles, and fairy dust. Faith and hope are the little sparks of light in a dark cave.

In this journey with Quinn, I have been reminded on more than one occasion that everybody has something. Everybody has something that they have to work through, deal with, struggle with, even suffer through. When things have been hard we have needed people in our lives to remind us of what is true and hold out that spark of light in the dark.

We all need that in our lives. Real life isn't about the sparkles and the fairy dust. It is about family and community. About telling the truth and lifting one another up in prayer. It is about authenticity in suffering. It is about the faith and hope in Jesus Christ. These are some truths that we hold on to in this journey. Not because they've come easy...but because they are life and breath and real.

We are excited to share some more this week about Quinn and this journey with cystic fibrosis. And maybe you have a question about CF or something you've wondered but were afraid to ask, consider this an invitation to put it out there.

Consider donating to Team Win with Quinn as we raise money to further Cystic Fibrosis research.

You are God Alone
by Cynthia and Billy James Foote

You are not a God
Created by human hands
You are not a god
Dependent on any mortal man
You are not a god
In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that’s just the way it is

CHORUS
You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

You’re the only God
Whose power none can contend
You’re the only God
Whose name and praise will never end
You’re the only God
Who’s worthy of everything we can give
You are God
And that’s just the way it is

CHORUS

BRIDGE
Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That’s what You are

Share the Love for Quinn: An Interview with Quinn

2011-02-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

An Interview with Quinn

Mom: What is Cystic Fibrosis?
Quinn: I don't know. Medicine.

Mom: What do you do with enzymes? Why do you take them?
Quinn: Eat them. Because they are my medicine.

Mom: What do we do with CPT (chest percussion therapy)?
Quinn: I breathe in and I go (pounds on his chest). My vest is pretty good.

Mom: What do we do with your tube?
Quinn: We put medicine in it and then I can eat more. It is really cool.

Mom: What is a healthy snack for you?
Quinn: Donut. Peanut Butter Cups. Larry-Boy Plunger O's (this is a fictitious cereal from Larry Boy and VeggieTales).

Mom: What do you think that God thinks about you?
Quinn: He is really happy about me. That is all I know about God. "A man looks on the outside but God looks on the inside" I Samuel 16:7 (I'm not kidding, he just quoted that to me...)

Mom: How do we show love to others?
Quinn: Like giving them kindness. That is all I know.

So, we may have some work to do on what he understands about Cystic Fibrosis but I'm thankful that he knows whose he is...

Consider donating to Team Win with Quinn as we raise money for CF research.

Share the Love for Quinn: Expectant Living

2011-02-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

I know of a woman who had four children during the 1940s and 1950s. Three boys and a girl. The three boys all had cystic fibrosis: two died as very young children and one died when he was 17. And his mom said his health caused him a miserable existence. So incredibly tragic.

Fast forward to 2011. It is a different experience to be born in this day and age and have cystic fibrosis yet the phrase "life expectancy" is still a part of our vocabulary. There is a twisted tension I've come to recognize when I consider "life expectancy". I hate that it is even part of our vocabulary. But it is. And it is because people with CF--my child with CF--has a shorter life expectancy than those without. The predicted median age of survival for someone with CF is in the mid-30's which is how old I am right now.

I am grateful that research has produced significant discoveries which have increased the quality of life and life expectancy. But I'll give you a peek into my brain and emotions: this Christmas there were some pajamas I was considering buying for Quinn and saving for next year.
And I chose not to buy them because I was afraid he wouldn't be here.
That he will die.
That I will have to plan his funeral.

That is a reoccurring fear for me that I've had since Quinn was born. I'm pushing myself to confront that fear by even sharing this in a "cyberspace" kind of way. Pushing myself to acknowledge that we live in 2011 and not the 1950's and that Quinn has his own unique journey.

I have two thoughts about "life expectancy":
1. Life is fatal. That probably sounds a little extreme but there is some irony in all of this talk about how many days we each will live. "Life Expectancy" is derived from the law of averages and that law may or may not fit. I do know that each one of us will die. Period. And that I have a deep conviction to teach Quinn about the realness of Heaven. And the love of God.

2. It isn't about years, it is about hopes. What do I expect out of life? To love family. To love friends. To follow Jesus. To love others. To laugh. To cry.

I want all of these things for Quinn. I want him to expect these things in life too and not worry about his days being longer or shorter than others. I want him to know that his life has purpose and meaning.

And that he lives each day to the fullest. Expectant Living.

Consider donating to Team Win with Quinn as we raise money to further Cystic Fibrosis research.

Sharing the Love For Quinn: A trip to the CF Clinic

2011-02-02T07:00:00.001-08:00

February 1st was one of our four yearly check ups we do at Doernbecher Children's Hospital Cystic Fibrosis Clinic. We began coming to the clinic soon after Quinn was released from the NICU when he was a month old. The staff has been AMAZING and for two very freaked out new parents they were calm and honest and thoughtful and so helpful. They are passionate about helping kids with CF and have helped us navigate this journey.
Quinn gets all his vitals taken: 37 lbs 4.1 oz, 3 ft 4.95 inches. A pediatric pulmonologist talks with us about Quinn, asks Quinn questions, jokes with us, and then examines Quinn thoroughly. The big deal is listening to Quinn's lungs with a special high powered stethoscope. The doctor is listening for blockage in the lungs. The sooner we can catch something the better chance we have of treating it effectively and minimizing damage.

Quinn is in the 10% of kids that are diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis because of intestinal blockage at birth. While it was a horrible experience to journey through those first weeks in the NICU, I can say that I am thankful that we have known from the very beginning about the kind of care Quinn needs.
Nurse Ben really should wear a cape because he is kind of a super hero in disguise. If we have questions about Quinn's health--a lingering cough, a weird bowel movement, a trip to the swimming pool, a question that I don't know who to ask--I call Ben. A few months ago Sela had a cold and I went into overdrive thinking about how to keep Sela and Quinn apart. Sibilings. Apart. Really? So I called Ben and told him I was feeling really anxious about keeping Quinn well and that I needed to hear the medical perspective on that concern. And he graciously obliged. When we are unsure of what direction to go, Nurse Ben always helps.

Quinn and Sela entertain each other in the exam room. You can do a lot with purple surgical gloves that can be blown up. Mini-balloons come in handy. Sela knows all about Quinn's therapies--she'll often pretend to pound on her own chest.
We see a social worker and the ever important nutritionist. While most nutritionists would talk about fruits, veggies, and cutting back on sweets, our nutritionist offers Quinn a choice of snacks: Oreos, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, or fruit snacks. The more calories, fat, and protein the better. Quinn chose the Peanut Butter Cups and for him, that is a healthy snack. He ate three today.
It was a good visit. Aside from Quinn crying because of the throat culture which they do at each visit, things went well. No new sounds in his lungs and no major changes. We are adding a half a can to his g-tube feedings at night to get him some extra calories. It is hard for this kid to eat 1800 plus calories a day. We are always thankful for good visits. Our next one in May will involve chest x-rays of Quinn's lungs and blood draws. We might all need Peanut Butter Cups after that one.

Consider Sharing the Love for Quinn by donating to Team Win With Quinn

Sharing the Love For Quinn: What is CF?

2011-02-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

What Is Cystic Fibrosis?

Cystic fibrosis is an inherited chronic disease that affects the lungs and digestive system of about 30,000 children and adults in the United States (70,000 worldwide). A defective gene and its protein product cause the body to produce unusually thick, sticky mucus that:

clogs the lungs and leads to life-threatening lung infections; and
obstructs the pancreas and stops natural enzymes from helping the body break down and absorb food.

In the 1950s, few children with cystic fibrosis lived to attend elementary school. Today, advances in research and medical treatments have further enhanced and extended life for children and adults with CF. Many people with the disease can now expect to live into their 30s, 40s and beyond.

Symptoms of Cystic Fibrosis

People with CF can have a variety of symptoms, including:

very salty-tasting skin;
persistent coughing, at times with phlegm;
frequent lung infections;
wheezing or shortness of breath;
poor growth/weight gain in spite of a good appetite; and
frequent greasy, bulky stools or difficulty in bowel movements.

Statistics

About 1,000 new cases of cystic fibrosis are diagnosed each year.
More than 70% of patients are diagnosed by age two.
More than 45% of the CF patient population is age 18 or older.
The predicted median age of survival for a person with CF is in the mid-30s.

The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation

Since 1955, the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation has been the driving force behind the pursuit of a cure. Thanks to the dedication and financial backing of our supporters--patients, families and friends, clinicians, researchers, volunteers, individual donors, corporations and staff, we are making a difference (from http://www.cff.org/AboutCF/).

What does this mean for Quinn?

Quinn fights lung issues by doing two breathing treatments a day plus two sessions of chest percussion therapy. He takes enzymes any time he eats because his pancreas does not make the enzymes he needs to break down his food. He takes three additional vitamins at this point plus two Prevacid pills a day to block acid due to acid reflux. He needs to eat 1800 calories or more a day. He has a feeding tube we only use at night to help him get all those calories. He is the only kid I know who double checks his own bowel movement to see if there is oil in it. He knows to tell us because it is a sign of malabsorption. Any time he coughs we go on high alert in case it is an indicator of something more complex with his lungs. Using hand sanitizer is a habit we are all well-trained in.

These are a few ways that Quinn experiences Cystic Fibrosis. Every person's journey is different and their experience with the disease is different. If you would like to help Share the Love for Quinn you can donate to CF research with Team Win with Quinn.

Share the Love for Quinn

2011-02-01T07:00:00.000-08:00

It has been four years and 10 months since Quinn was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis.

From our initial shock and fear when we discovered Quinn had blockage in his intestines, three surgeries, a month in the NICU, and confirmation that Quinn had the genetic markers for CF...

...until now...

We've mostly kept our experience and process close to our hearts. But we've made a decision to take a step out this year and share some more about this experience--this journey--of what life is like for Quinn and our family. We want to help educate others about Cystic Fibrosis and "Share the Love for Quinn" to help raise funds for research to find a cure for Cystic Fibrosis.

We are Team Win With Quinn and we are partnering with the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation Great Strides Campaign to raise money to fight this disease. We know there are many needs in the world right now but if you feel compelled to "Share the Love for Quinn" to donate $1 or one million dollars you can click on Team Win With Quinn and donate to our campaign to raise $5000.

From February 1st to Valentine's Day I'll be blogging about this journey--our latest CF clinic appointment, how we talk about CF with Quinn, the truths we've discovered about living with a chronic illness, how we use Quinn's feeding tube, and a whole lot more...

So "Share the Love for Quinn" and consider donating to a cause that will impact Quinn's life!

Music for Monday

2011-01-31T07:00:00.000-08:00

Be Still and Know by Steven Curtis Chapman

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is holy
Be still, O restless soul of mine
Bow before the Prince of peace
Let the noise and clamor cease

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is faithful
Consider all that He has done
Stand in awe and be amazed
And know that He will never change
Be still

Be still, and know that He is God
Be still, and know that He is God
Be still, and know that He is God

Be still; Be speechless

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know He is our Father
Come rest your head upon His breast
Listen to the rhythm of His unfailing heart of love
Beating for His little ones
Calling each of us to come
Be still, Be still

Spilled Soup

2011-01-29T22:08:00.000-08:00

This is me...
looking at the bowl of lentil soup...
I dropped.
And spilled.
All.Over.the.Floor.
and cabinets.
and baseboards.
and stove.
and fridge.
and dishwasher.
and me.

Sigh. Sometimes that happens.

2011-01-25T07:00:00.000-08:00

A quick view of Daredevil Sela...crawling under the table as close to the electrical outlet as possible with a surprised look when caught in the act...

Sela is adding in some new words too...
my favorite right now is cookie or "coo-coo" said in a l o w voice

Music for Monday

2011-01-24T07:00:00.000-08:00

The Stand by Hillsong United

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

Conversations with Quinn

2011-01-21T07:00:00.000-08:00

Q: I like you.
M: I like you too.
Q: I'm glad you married dad. You made the right choice.
M: I'm glad I married dad too.
Q: Did dad choose or did you choose?
M: Dad chose me and I chose him. We chose each other.
Q: You made a good choice.
M: Well, I'm glad you think so. I think so too.

A food processor

2011-01-20T07:00:00.001-08:00

If you've noticed the books on my nightstand a lot of them have to do with food. I've read all of them so they really aren't stacked up by my bed but they've helped me sort through some "food stuff". A journey I started when I started feeding Sela solids and wondered what she was actually eating. And where our food comes from. And how it gets to my table. And what food standards exist. And what impact does food have on how we feel. And is any of that real? Or is it a fad?

Well you get the idea.

I started another blog. Because I think about food. A lot. And I don't want "Branching Out" to become a blog about food. So if you're interested in food too (do you have a stomach?) and want to see what we're doing with food these days or what I'm thinking about food, then feel free to check out "a food processor".

Sela, Sela, Sela

2011-01-19T07:00:00.000-08:00

Sela in pictures...

Look at those cheeks!

I like to do what my brother is doing...

If Quinn is in his room, Sela likes to be outside the door or stick her fingers under his door.

Cheese!

Super Cheese!

Thanks for reading to me Karin!

Are you looking at me?

Sela Ruth at 16 months...
Curious, laughter, feisty, independent, snuggly, funny, cute, clever, problem-solver, loving and lovely, loves her brother, dancer, 14 teeth (4 molars and one eye tooth in three weeks!), walks everywhere with purpose

Some Sela words...
dada, mama, baby, shoes, book, Woody, tweet-tweet, duck, woof-woof, mouse, baba (grandpa), hello, Manny, moo, nose, eye, toes, night-night, uh-oh, no-no, go, happy

We love Sela Ruth!

Quinn Radar

2011-01-18T07:00:00.000-08:00

Quinn's current "favorites":
1. Larry-Boy from Veggie Tales. He loves the old Larry-Boy theme song and launches himself down the hall way like he is taking off in the Larry-mobile. He arrives in the living room announcing, "I. AM. THAT. HERO!" I am typically Alfred, his attendant and asparagus. Quinn has made a variety of pictures to place around the house of Larry-Boy, the Larry-mobile, and the special light signal (ala Batman). I think I'm living in the Larry-Boy mansion.

2. Super Why on PBS. I'm really glad that he is all about Super Why right now--it is really a fun show. Four "superheroes" from various Fairy Tales read through books to answer questions by using the alphabet, rhyming, and spelling. Really fun and creative. Super Why's alter ego is Whyatt Beanstalk (his brother is Jack) and he is Quinn's favorite character. Quinn is drawing pictures, doing little Super Why dances, and finding new things to spell.

3. Sid the Science Kid on PBS. Quinn is into Sid and all the discoveries, experiments, and observations that Sid and his friends make. I've learned a few things too about reverse change, inertia, and decay. Sela is getting some early exposure to all these things too because she is usually awake when Quinn is watching the shows during his chest percussion therapy (CPT).

As honorable mention I have to say is Word World. Quinn loves it and I think it really is amazing. All about spelling and sounds, each characters' shape is made from whatever they are. Like Sheep's body is made with the letters "SHEEP." Duck's body is made with the letters "DUCK." So clever!

Quinn is a drawing machine--he is drawing all the time. Making little books, posters, designing fire trucks and fire stations, and drawing all his favorite characters from Disney shows or his own creation. We may need to start planting trees because of all of the paper we are going through at our house.

Quinn loves Sela...most of the time. Tonight he sang a little song about how much he loved Sela and how she was the best sister a brother could ever have. He loves to tickle her toes and make her laugh. It is fun to watch Quinn and Sela walk around making a train or watching Quinn and Sela give one another hugs. He does get frustrated when he is trying to build something and she is trying to "help". Today he was trying to run down the hallway but Sela was sitting in the middle of the hall. When Ryan looked up, Quinn was quietly trying to direct Sela to crawl into the hall closet to clear the path for unobstructed running.

Quinn was talking to me and I had to laugh as he used his "English" accent. He wanted me to use my accent too so we had a lovely conversation. He also has a version of a Scottish accent and some sort of accent he has created when he sings certain songs. Just made me chuckle. He has a few other voices that he does which must be an influence of his dad who has his own voice collection.

Quinn is still loving preschool. Loves to learn, loves to play, and loves to go. He really is like a sponge and just soaks everything up. He asks great questions. He makes me think about how to explain things--whether about Jesus or math or how to spell something. Keeps us on our toes!

Music for Monday

2011-01-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

Shine a Little Light by James Taylor

Let us turn our thoughts today
To Martin Luther King
And recognize that there are ties between us
All men and women
Living on the Earth
Ties of hope and love
Sister and brotherhood
That we are bound together
In our desire to see the world become
A place in which our children
Can grow free and strong
We are bound together
By the task that stands before us
And the road that lies ahead
We are bound and we are bound

There is a feeling like the clenching of a fist
There is a hunger in the center of the chest
There is a passage through the darkness and the mist
And though the body sleeps the heart will never rest

(Chorus)
Shed a little light, oh Lord
So that we can see
Just a little light, oh Lord
Wanna stand it on up
Stand it on up, oh Lord
Wanna walk it on down
Shed a little light, oh Lord

Can't get no light from the dollar bill
Don't give me no light from a TV screen
When I open my eyes
I wanna drink my fill
From the well on the hill

(Do you know what I mean?)
- Chorus -

There is a feeling like the clenching of a fist
There is a hunger in the center of the chest
There is a passage through the darkness and the mist
And though the body sleeps the heart will never rest

Oh, Let us turn our thoughts today
To Martin Luther King
And recognize that there are ties between us
All men and women
Living on the Earth
Ties of hope and love
Sister and brotherhood

MLK and me

2011-01-17T07:00:00.000-08:00

It seems like my birthday always falls on the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday...well, I guess every few years but it feels like it. And I'm good with that shared day. My fascination with MLK began when I was in the 6th grade and his example, speeches, and writings influenced how I saw others and conflicts. It also launched my interest in Gandhi and eventually Mother Teresa.

Quinn and I talked on Saturday about MLK on his actual birthday.
Talking about how people who were not white...
Could not vote.
Go into stores.
Go into the movie theater.
Get a drink of water.
Go to school with white people.
Talking about that with a 4.5 year old and watching some of MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech on YouTube was important. And pretty moving. To see all of the people gathered, unified, and standing up for what they believed. Powerful.

The two things that stood out to me in my conversation with Quinn:
1. That he put it together...that God loves everybody and made us with different colors of skin.
2. His innocence...why would someone not like someone because of skin color. Or because of hair color. I had said, "It is like if someone didn't like you because your eyes are brown." To which Quinn responded, "Then I'd make my eyes blue." And it made me think about all the self-hatred that has been perpetuated because some feature was named unworthy and unwanted...to just change that one thing and then they would like me.

My prayer for Quinn is that he will recognize that he is loved by God and created by Him... "so that the works of God might be displayed in him" (John 9:3). And in turn, Quinn will share that with others and draw them to Jesus and the freedom of Christ.

My 34th birthday. 34 years. And I suppose that my prayer for Quinn is the same for myself...

Thoughts on Marriage

2011-01-16T15:00:00.001-08:00

A few years ago Ryan and I had been talking about what we had learned and observed since being married. We came up with a little list of things that really stood out to us--about relationship, commitment, and taking care of our marriage. We've lived them out better in some seasons then in others. In February we have our 9th anniversary and these are still marriage thoughts that are true for us.

Let your first ministry be to each other.

There are needs and people all around you. In getting married, you’ve committed yourself to placing your spouse as your top priority after Jesus. Make decisions based on this premise—your first ministry is to your spouse.
Consider the people you surround yourself with—be discerning about those that don’t support your priorities.
Be discerning about workplaces that don’t support your priorities.
Relationship doesn’t “just happen”—be intentional in how you love one another.

Write out your vows and put them in a public place to remind you of what you have pledged to one another.

Look at what you have vowed before God and your spouse. Your marriage vows are typically the one thing that you actually vow.

Choose a small group of individuals to give you counsel about your relationship.

The individuals should be TRUSTWORTHY—they know how to keep their mouths shut!
The individuals should show evidence of wisdom and insight
The individual should be a follower of Christ
God doesn’t call us into isolation—He calls us into community. But that community doesn’t have to be EVERYONE (and shouldn’t be everyone that just asks). No one is “entitled” to the intricacies and intimacies of your marriage.

Be wary of anyone that takes “sides” or tells you that you are right…

You don’t need anyone to “tickle your ears” with agreement that you are right and your spouse is wrong.
Marriage is a two way street—try to maintain a posture of openness and honesty rather than defensiveness when disagreement occurs. Believe it or not, you may not always agree with one another

Honor one another

Don’t criticize or put down your spouse in front of others.
Make a habit of complimenting and esteeming your spouse whether your spouse is present or not.

Be on the same page about how you save and spend money and then STICK TO IT!

Seek for ways to serve your spouse…

Make your spouse’s needs more important than your own.

Ask for what you need

Your spouse is not a mind reader
It is OK to ask for help…time…flowers…a compliment…a hug
Think about what the need is—and consider if there is some underlying reason for that need…are you needing validation, affirmation, affection, reconnection
It is unfair to your spouse to expect him or her to understand exactly what you need--you can help your spouse!

Set boundaries

How do you view boundaries? Do you believe Jesus had boundaries? Is having boundaries contrary to Scripture? Are you willing to keep boundaries you set?
What do you need your home to be?
Consider how you can be intentional about spending time together.
You don’t have to explain anything to anyone—and double check with each other what you want to have shared. You may have different ideas about information that you want shared. As you set boundaries that are new to those around you, expect to have them pushed. Do you really mean what you say? You will get to help people understand what your limits are—this process does take some time and repetition.

Eat, Laugh, and Love with gusto!

Conversations with Quinn

2011-01-16T07:00:00.000-08:00

Q: "What is Jesus' cell phone number?"
M: "Jesus doesn't have a cell phone. You can just talk to him."
Q: "No cell phone?!"
M: "No. You just talk to him. Remember, its called prayer."

Quinn vs the Sick Bug

2011-01-15T22:45:00.000-08:00

One word I would NOT use to describe Quinn is "lethargic". The kid has energy coming out his ears. But in the wee hours of Wednesday night/Thursday morning, he threw up a few times and I could tell that he was HOT. Temperature? Check. Vomit? Check. Sick? Check.

Thursday morning Quinn walked slowly out to the couch and sat down. Sunken eyes? Check. He sat on the couch with his rabbit (his best friend since the NICU) and stared at the TV. Which was off. Stared. We eventually watched Monsters Inc. which was Quinn's first time seeing it.
Out of it? Check. Lethargic? Check. Temperature? Check. More vomit? Check.

It kind of went this way until Friday afternoon. Only one more vomit session. Still had a temperature. Quinn slept from 1-5 Friday afternoon and that was huge! I was starting to get worried because he hadn't come out of his room yet and when I peeked my head into his room, he was just waking up.

He decided he was ready to eat a little something Friday night--some egg, crackers, and banana all stayed down! Still had a temperature but he slept through the night and woke up peppy this morning. No temperature? Check. Singing and dancing around? Check. Imagination in overdrive? Check.

Conversations with Quinn

2011-01-15T15:34:00.000-08:00

Q: (pointing at the computer) "You're a slow po."
M: "A slow po?"
Q: "Yeah, a slow po--when you go slow."
M: "You mean a slow poke?"
Q: "What's a slow poke?"
M: "Its what you mean when you say 'slow po'."
Q: "Oh. The computer is a slow poke."

Fo' sho'...

Music for Monday

2011-01-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

"Revelation Song"

Worthy is the,
Lamb who was slain
Holy, Holy, is He
Sing a new song, to Him who sits on
Heaven's Mercy Seat
[Repeat 2x]

(Chorus)
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything,
And I will adore You…!
Yeah!

Clothed in rainbows, of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and
Glory and power be
To You the Only Wise King,
Yeah

(Chorus)
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come, yeah
With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything,
And – I - will - adore You!
Yeah!

Filled with wonder,
Awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your Name
Jesus, Your Name is Power
Breath, and Living Water
Such a marvelous mystery
Yeah...

(Chorus)
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come, yeah
With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything,
And – I - will - adore You!

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come,
With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything,
And – I - will - adore YOU…

(Chorus) (Repeat at a cappella)

Come up lift up His Name
To the King of Kings…
We will adore YOU Lord…
King of heaven and earth
King Jesus, King Jesus
Aleluya, aleluya, aleluya!
Majesty, awestruck Honor
And Power and Strength and Dominion
To You Lord,
To the King, to King
To the King of Glory

by Jennie Lee Riddle

Back in the Saddle Again

2010-12-20T15:24:00.000-08:00

Saturday was a hard, hard day. A culmination of days adding up into many, many tears and a few realizations. I had to get off my horse and sit in the dust by the side of the road and just cry for awhile.

Sunday I got back in the saddle and sat there.

Monday I'm still on and we're slowing walking forward. No galloping, just walking and getting my bearings about me.

I appreciate the prayers and encouragement. And a blog is a funny thing. I choose to publicly share "life stuff" and release it out into the vastness that is cyberspace. I had to think a little bit about whether or not I wanted to do that on Saturday. If my thoughts were more for my journal or for my journal and others that care about us and those that just peek in every so often.

I decided I wanted it to be public. That we don't always talk about the hard stuff of this journey in such raw ways but they are real and a part of our experience. I'm kind of a "nose to the grindstone", "push through it", "Jessup" kind of person (anyone with Jessup connections will totally get that reference). I'm more prone to just keep pushing then I am to revealing and one of my realizations is that I need to do some more revealing. I don't plan to blog about all my inner secrets :) but I do plan on being more intentional about sharing with a few more folks about what is hard and what I'm struggling with. And I'm not going to second guess myself when I'm having a "CF moment" and debate about whether or not I should call someone to talk with or pray with. Honestly, it is silly inner debate.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4:8

I'm also going to think about some things that allow my heart to rest and be reassured. Like Quinn asking me to rock him before laying down for a rest time..."Mom, you are the best rocker in the whole world." Or Sela's sweet smiles and laughter as she runs down the hallway to escape me "chasing" her. Or how much I enjoy watching "The Sing-Off" on NBC. Seriously, it makes me so happy. Or when I get to go thrift store shopping, I love it! The thrill of the hunt and the joy of a good deal. Or the bouquet of roses a friend brought by on Sunday...beautiful. Or sitting on the couch talking with Ryan. Or sitting on the couch talking to Ryan when I know he is staying up so he can hear me talk because he loves me even when he is really tired. Or friends talking together over dessert. Or choosing a new word each day for our Advent calendar (well, trying to do each day, we've had to do four words at one time on a few days). Saturday's was "grace".

Joy to the world, the Lord is come, let Earth receive her King,
let every heart prepare him room
and Heaven and nature sing,
and Heaven and nature sing,
and Heaven and Heaven and nature sing!

Today I am not a trooper

2010-12-18T15:58:00.001-08:00

Today I am not a trooper. I feel like I’ve been pushing forward and moving forward and pulling us forward and today I am tired. I had a “CF moment” this week and I had to call Ryan and cry. I heard Quinn cough in his sleep during his nap and freaked out. Is he getting sick? What can I do to stop this? I can feel really anxious or stressed and my inner alarms go off.

This past week, as I’ve been trying to implement this additional breathing treatment and CPT, it has felt overwhelming. This additional session feels so complicated…we have to get the first session in early, the second session has to be at least six hours later, and at least an hour before Quinn goes to bed. And it is an extra 45 minutes of TV each day. It seems like a small thing but it is really frustrating to me. Thinking about food and what the best thing is for him to eat and did he have his enzymes and vitamins. Getting ready for bed and making sure his feeding tube is OK, the supplies are set up, and that his pump is ready to go. Going into his room before I go to bed, I check to see how much formula is left in the bag and do my quick math to set my alarm. 240ml left=3 hours and I set my alarm for 2am. 280ml left=3.5 hours and I set my alarm for 2:30am. When my alarm goes off, I go get the supplies and turn off his pump, flush the tube, and detach the cords. Make sure Quinn is OK, peek in at Sela, and reset my alarm.

I think I’m grieving that there is yet another step in our CF care. I don’t like CF. I wish we had nothing to do with it. I can usually talk myself through this feeling, that someone else has it worse, that it could be harder or more complicated or more horrific, all of which is true. CF is hard. CF is expensive. Even for Ryan’s Type 1 Diabetes…chronic illness is expensive and we have good insurance. Two chronic illnesses are expensive. I’m so thankful for Ryan’s job, for benevolent benefactors in our lives, for insurance, for peoples’ prayers. But today I’m mad at the five medical bills that I need to pay. I’m thankful that we are able to pay them but mad that we have to pay medical bills. Today, I’m just tired.

Today I am not a trooper. I feel like I’ve pushed and pulled and today I’m tired. Sela is teething—she got two molars in, two more molars coming in, and her gums look like her top eye teeth are bulging. She has a cough and had a fever the other night. Sela teething and having a cold really raised my anxiety because I want her to be well but I also don’t want Quinn to get sick. I immediately thought will Quinn get sick? How can we separate them? What can we do to keep him well? My internal alarms go off and sometimes it isn’t totally logical. This time I called nurse Ben at the CF Clinic—when in doubt, call nurse Ben! And he patiently reminded me that you can wash hands and clean toys but that if Quinn gets sick and it impacts his lungs then the CF Clinic will treat him. And we are a family and I can’t quarantine Quinn and Sela from one another. But there is part of me that goes into overdrive of how can I keep Quinn well. And it feels like little alarms going off in my head. And how can I help Sela when she just wants to be where Quinn is. And in the midst of all of this medical, there is just the day to day emotional of having a genuinely awesome 4.5 year old who generally makes good decisions and deals with all this stuff everyday but he also wants to push his boundaries which means mommy has been holding the boundaries. Some days this goes really well. And other days it doesn’t. This stretch has felt much harder.

Today I am not a trooper. Ryan is sick too. He has worked hard at work and in his MBA program. And his body is done or as Quinn often spells to emphasize his point…D-O-N-E, done. He is tired and sick and mostly sleeping. He has had classes each week and homework plus multiple Saturday classes. I’m proud of him for what he has been able to do and what he has learned and how he has conducted himself through it. He has had a challenging fall—he had a colonoscopy and endoscopy in October to test for Celiac Disease. He has been gluten free since then and diagnosed with Latent Celiac Disease which is a whole other post in and of itself but we have navigated this diet/health change and continue to navigate it. In November he got braces. Braces are just a bummer in general. The fall has been challenging and we’ve been looking forward to Ryan’s Christmas Break. I will confess, that when he went to bed last night sounding horrible and when he woke up this morning sounding worse, I cried. And then I cried some more a little later this morning. And then my parents took Quinn for a couple of hours today. And then I cried a bit more. I’m ready for everyone to be well, or as healthy as possible, and ready for some “new normal” and just ready to be…I’ll probably cry some more today because that just seems to be the course of events for today.

And hopefully I’ll be a trooper tomorrow.

Quinn's New Vest

2010-12-10T16:00:00.000-08:00

At our CF appointment in November, Dr. Wall talked with us about adding an additional breathing treatment and extra session of chest percussion therapy to what we currently do with Quinn each day. We've been using little mallets to do the percussion therapy and with Quinn's age and additional session he felt it was time to upgrade to the "vest". An air compressor is used to send air through a hose which inflates the vest at programmed intervals which "pounds" on Quinn. This is our new version of chest percussion therapy. The new treatments are not a response to changes in Quinn's lungs, praise the Lord, but they are important in the process of doing the most we can to help his lungs stay clear so issues don't arise.

Quinn chose a red vest so he could be a fireman. Here are a few pictures of Quinn with his vest, firefighter gear, the hose, and air compressor.

We recorded a video of Quinn using the vest so you can see and hear what it is like but are having a hard time loading it. His breathing treatment is about 10 minutes for two times a day and then the vest is used after each treatment for about 20 minutes. All in all he spends about an hour to an hour and a half each day. We let Quinn watch a show during these sessions so this is his main TV time for the day. My mama heart is a little sad that he has to do this each day. He is such a trooper. He does great with the vest but had a really hard time with the second breathing treatment. There are challenges in all this but we're looking to find our "new normal". At some point these things won't feel as overwhelming and we'll just feel like "this is what we do each day". Quinn really does an awesome job.

Looking forward to that new normal.

music for monday

2010-12-06T07:00:00.000-08:00

O Come, O Come Emmanuel

Oh come, Oh come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear

Rejoice, Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, Oh Israel!

Oh come, Thou Dayspring, come and cheer
Thy people with Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death's dark shadows put to flight

Rejoice, Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, Oh Israel!

Oh come, Thou rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan's tyranny
From depths of hell Thy people save
And give them victory o'ver the grave

Rejoice, Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, Oh Israel!
Rejoice, Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, Oh Israel!

Music for Monday

2010-11-22T10:20:00.000-08:00

stay close by my side
keep your eyes on me
though this life is hard
i will give you perfect peace

in this time of trial
pain that no one sees
trust me when i say
i will give you perfect peace

and you'll never walk alone
and you'll never be in need
though i may not calm the storms around you
you can hide in me
burdens that you bear
offer no relief
let me bear your load
cause i will give you perfect peace
stay close by my side
and you'll never walk alone
keep your eyes on me
and you will never be in need
though this life is hard
know that i will always give you perfect peace
i will give you perfect peace

perfect peace by Laura Story

thankful that God gives perfect peace and is faithful in all circumstances. Amen.

Let the Sunshine

2010-11-04T22:22:00.000-07:00

What two great warm sunshine-y days! So nice and I expect that we'll be on the trampoline for awhile today! Life has been full and I have a hundred blog posts that I've written but they are all in my head and not on the computer. Today I want to share some pictures of life in the Dougherty household over the last few weeks.

Some things I've been thinking about lately: food, studying the Bible, parenting, budgets, what makes a home a haven, priorities, health, and a few other things...hopefully I'll get a chance to process some of that here soon.

On Halloween we went over to my parents' church's Fall Festival.
Quinn was Buzz Lightyear and Sela was a little cowgirl.

Sela showing off for the paparazzi

Quinn put together a big puppet show...

A little Daddy time on a nice day...
and do you notice something new on Ryan's teeth?

Sela and Daddy...and Daddy's new braces

There has been a lot of life going on in the Dougherty household.
A lot for Ryan which really deserves its own post. Wednesday Ryan got braces which will be on for the next 12 months. I think he always has the greatest smile but the dentist and orthodontist think he has had some dental issues because of his bite and in order to prevent further issues--the metal was attached! For Ryan, the braces are just one little thing that he has been navigating. More to come.

We took Quinn and Sela to the park and loved watching Quinn on the slide and Sela do her best to follow Quinn. They are both on the move!

This season is full but it was good for all of us to take some time together and play!

We made it!

2010-10-23T21:54:00.000-07:00

It has been a challenging week in the Dougherty household. Sela got her 7th tooth, felt under the weather, and had an ear infection. Our sweet Quinn has been a little more on the sour side this week with more complaining, talking back, and time outs than I would like to count. I've been sick--you know that sick that isn't sick enough to send you straight to bed but now well enough to do what you would normally do? And Ryan has had work and class and homework and life in general. Big talks about big things, making big decisions and just "doing life". I'm thankful that we made it to the weekend!

The other night when Sela was up I finally just decided to stay up rather than lay back down for 15 minutes and get back up with Sela...hit the repeat button for 3 hours...up, down, up, down until 3am. I got to select some new books from the library (including "Bringing Up Boys" by Dobson...note statement about Quinn above). I really love the library. Recently my main times to read are when I'm doing Quinn's breathing treatment and we have a concentrated 30 minutes or so to sit together. I've mastered the art of holding various pieces of equipment while keeping my place in the book. Right now I'm reading "How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth" which I've really enjoyed and given me some things to think through.

This week I had my own "Meredith and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day". After that crazy night of being up with Sela until 3am we decided I should take her to the doctor just to check and see what was going on for her. She's had a big cough which sounded really ragged and rattle-y, not typically a good thing.

I called our pediatrician's office and was able to get an appointment for 11:15am. But then I got to thinking, I had asked if the clinic was busy with walk ins and it sounded pretty slow so I thought I should cancel the appointment and take the kids in earlier so we could get Sela checked out and home for a nap. It was a decent plan but perhaps it was influenced by my lack of sleep. Can you see where I'm going?

The kids were ready, I threw on a hat, and headed out the door. I had canceled my 11:15 appointment and we checked in about 9:45am. One walk in before us who got called back right away.

Thus began our wait...
wait...
wait...
wait...

Two kids who wanted to be down on the floor playing with the toys in the waiting area to which my mama-germaphobe heart is going...NOOOOOOOOOOO! This is not a playground! Yuck!!!!

We were called back to a room at 10:55am. I was SO frustrated...with myself and with the situation!

We were waiting to see a doctor at 11:15am.

Yes...

Same time as my initial appointment.

And I couldn't do anything about it! My own choice! I was so frustrated! Ryan was coming back from a meeting he'd had in Tualatin and actually met me at the office, bless his heart! I was trying to hold it together and I was so glad to see his face.

Little Sela got her prescription...and we left.

I waited for medication at the pharmacy...no shower, hat on, so tired--a look I sported much of this week.

Quinn continued to have a series of "moments" (see note above).

My sweet friend called about something else but was gracious to listen to me talk and cry. Oh man...it was one of those days!

That was earlier this week. Now it is Saturday night. I feel better. Quinn had a time-out free day which was so great for all of us! My sweet boy! Sela is just as funny and dear as ever. Ryan got to watch some football though he had homework he worked on this morning and more homework he is currently working on now. His 33rd birthday is Sunday!!!!

I'm always thankful that every morning is new, with new possibilities, and a fresh start. We need it!

What is on the roof?

2010-10-17T21:48:00.001-07:00

A friend of ours was moving and we were able to take their trampoline from them. A trampoline is actually really good therapy for Quinn--the bouncing up and down is great for his lungs! Grandpa Jessup, Uncle Ken, Uncle Kyler, Uncle John, and Aunt Danae helped walk it a block from our friends' house to our house.

And then came the question...how to get it into the backyard?

How about over the roof?

Over the roof and to the backyard! Now we can jump on the trampoline while the weather is still clear and warm!

Sela is ONE

2010-09-18T21:51:00.001-07:00

Sela's golden birthday was this year...turning one on September 1st. What a JOY to celebrate Sela's first year of life and it was a grand birthday week to be sure. Really, the key is Sela. She is such a delightful, smiley, curious bundle of sweetness.

She already seems to have a lot to say...she chatters all the time and sometimes I have to stop and think about what sounds I just heard because I think she actually said something!

We have a great time singing together...Sela "sings" and bobs her head. She will even do hand motions: clapping or waving one pointer finger around while singing "This Little Light of Mine". Another fun Sela "trick" is when we say "Hip, Hip, Hooray" she will raise her hands up high when we say "Hooray!"

She is about 20 pounds and 29 inches--she grew two inches since June! Sela is still cruising along the furniture and will walk around when you hold her hands but so far she hasn't started walking on her own. She is fast and can crawl like lightning when she wants to get to Quinn or something. She has also discovered great joy in crawling up onto chairs where she preferably likes to stand up and give her parents' a heart attack.

On Sela's birthday we took our usual birthday trip to Chapters! Just because Sela can't drink coffee doesn't mean anything!

That night we did our official birthday party with family. Sela really enjoyed people singing to her. And I made her a peach and blueberry cobbler for her cake! She eagerly ate whatever she could put in her mouth including the fistful of vanilla ice cream she crammed in there too!

So fun to celebrate with the "Newberg family" and then we continued the celebration with the "Springfield family" over the weekend! Sela and her Uncle Derek are September 1st birthday partners so it was great fun to have a joint birthday party for the two of them (after the Dougherty guys and I went to the Ducks opening football game, of course).

Sunday we were able to have a special dedication time at church led by Grandpa and Grandma Dougherty where Grandpa Dougherty is the pastor. Their words and prayers were meaningful and full of truth. I'm glad that we could affirm our intention to teach Sela about Jesus and to follow him as a family. While we don't get to Springfield as often as we would like, we know how faithfully the church family there has prayed for our little family. From the time that Quinn was born until now, their willingness to pray for us and care for us in this very real way touches me very deeply. It was really sweet to have that time together.
Hip, Hip, Hooray for Sela!

...Three, Four, Five!

2010-08-28T11:01:00.000-07:00

You may be wondering how days three, four, and five went of swim lessons! Did we discover the next Michael Phelps or did we have a new tadpole on our hands? After day one we wondered if we would be back for day two. Day two we wondered if he would actually smile while in the pool. Day three, well, day three was a good day it just kept getting better.

Day Three

Day three Quinn was willing to float on his back and on his front with some direction from the teacher. He really didn't want to put his face in the water and wasn't sure about trying what she was asking him to do. When it came time to jump from the side into the water...well that last picture shows Quinn starting to sit down on the side...then he would kind of s l i d e....into the water. And we were all about encouragement!

Day Four

Day four brought a sub instead of the regular teacher and she did a good job with the three little boys. While the continued floating on the fronts and backs, Quinn told the teacher a couple of times that he didn't want to try a few things she was asking them to do. It was so interesting watching him and observing the progress of the week. While he wasn't eager to do everything, he didn't cry and he did participate. The teacher carried the kids over on her back to go off a little slide into the water. Quinn wanted no part of that plan and would again stand on the side, move to sitting, and then slide into the pool. Grandma and Grandpa Jessup came and Quinn really liked have a few more spectators to cheer for him!

Day Five...The Final Day!

We made it to the last day of swim lessons! Quinn laughed and smiled in the pool. He enjoyed playing with the two other boys in his lessons and he really tried everything the teacher asked him to do (this was after a mom "pep" talk about trying new things)! He put his face in the water, moved his arms, kicked his legs, and you could tell his confidence had grown! He had a chance to go down the little slide again...he actually went down the slide! Well, he went down the slide but before he went down he figured out how to wedge himself in the slide so that he wouldn't actually land in the water. The picture above shows him sitting at the end of the slide before he wiggled off directly into his teacher's arms. I was impressed with his planning :)

Aunt Danae came to watch too and Quinn was excited to see her. Quinn finished up his lesson with a little certificate and a LOT more comfort in the pool. I'm looking forward to taking him back to the pool soon! We went over to the little playground outside the pool and played on the equipment for a bit before heading home.

It was a good learning experience for us as parents too. We won't always be able to control his circumstances but we can help him navigate through those experiences. I loved seeing his confidence grow!

Swim Lessons...Day Two

2010-08-24T22:59:00.000-07:00

We weren't sure how Quinn was going to do on this second day of swim lessons. This morning he told me that he didn't want to go. After I told him we were going, I didn't hear anything else about it and didn't notice any nervousness. Instead, as the time got closer he seemed to get a little more excited and was eager to change into his swim stuff.

The lesson went really well for Quinn! No falling off the dock today! He still looked as stiff as a board in the water but he did everything the teacher asked and actually cracked a smile or two. Aunt Danae and Uncle John came out to watch which was a BIG deal to Quinn as he had called them to extend a personal invitation to come to the pool.

When we left today I asked what his favorite part was and he said, "Coming today!" So thankful he had a good day trying new things!

Swim Lessons

2010-08-23T21:16:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of swim lessons for Quinn! For a half hour every day Quinn will get to be in the pool and learn a few things about swimming. It is crazy that we've waited this long...to take him to the pool! My goodness! It will be an interesting week. Quinn likes the idea of swimming but isn't so sure about getting his face wet or feeling cold and wet.

Quinn and two other little boys were a part of the lesson and Quinn tried everything the swim teacher asked him to try. The tricky part is that on the raised dock that the kids stand on, Quinn got too close to the edge while jumping up and down to stay warm and jumped right off the edge of the dock into the deeper water.

It really freaked him out and I wound up talking with him while he was out of the pool coughing. And when Quinn gets scared and starts coughing, he typically throws up too. Sure enough, he threw up. I told him I was going to shower him off and he was going to get back in the pool. He cried and really didn't want to but we got back out there and he cautiously rejoined the lesson.

At that point the kids were jumping off the side to the teacher...and he did it too! He lasted until the end of the lesson and then he was ready to be done!

We asked him what his favorite part of the lesson was and he said:
"The end. When I got to come see you guys!"

I'm hoping tomorrow goes better...

Of teeth and toothpaste

2010-08-22T22:08:00.000-07:00

Teeth have been a big part of the Dougherty household the last few days. We've decided that Sela should be the new poster child for teeth-brushing. She still has four teeth but I'm pretty sure that dentists across the country wish all kids would brush their teeth like her.

Quinn also had a tooth encounter this past Friday. He somehow landed on the floor in the hallway while trying to bring a stuffed bear to Sela. He hit his top front teeth and gum on the floor which caused some serious bleeding. He was one sad dude. After a conversation with the dentist, we're keeping an eye on the gum and teeth. The teeth don't appear to be loose or pushed back but the gum is really tender. Quinn and Ryan were wrestling the day after and Quinn got a little bumped and it was back to ice and cold washcloths and more blood. Poor little man! He is a real trooper considering his gum area looks black!

Teeth, teeth, and more teeth!

Hay for the elephants

2010-08-18T15:16:00.001-07:00

Quinn was having some "quiet play time" in his room this afternoon. An hour of uninterrupted play time and quality imagination building on his own while mommy does other projects and Sela takes her nap. Quinn often comes out to tell me something or show me something. Today he wanted me to come see "Farmer Brown and the elephants in their stall and the hay".

He said, "Mom, I'm using my clothes as the hay. That is a creative idea isn't it?" To which I said, "Yes, that is a very creative idea" while thinking to myself, I wonder if the clean clothes that were all folded in his laundry basket are now "hay" all over the room.

Quinn had created a stall for the imaginary elephants guarded by Mickey Mouse who was playing the part of Farmer Brown. And all of his clean clothes were in piles for hay. Lots of piles. Quinn said, "Is that ok?" He may have seen the initial look on my face but I said, "That is ok. That was a very creative way to make hay."

It didn't take me very long last night to fold them...and two times folding the laundry never hurt anyone. At least the elephants were fed.