Sunday, April 20, 2008
Tomorrow morning we head to OHSU for an early morning in surgery for Quinn. After two postponed dates, Quinn is well, insurance info is set, and we are as ready as we can be for this new step for Quinn. This surgery will place a feeding tube in Quinn's left abdomen which we will use to provide night feeds to him while he sleeps. We've had a number of different conversations with a variety of health care professionals and parents and feel like this is the best decision at this time. Quinn needs about 1800 calories a day--which is a lot but not abnormal for kids with CF. While Quinn's interest in eating has improved, he is still not taking in the kind of nutrients he needs so this will be a major help to him. We should be able to observe significant gains in about four months.
This surgery will be Quinn's third so we have been through some of this before though this time we will be able to stay in Quinn's room with him and be more active in his day to day care. If everything goes as planned we should be home on Wednesday. I won't be checking emails or the blog until after we get home.
If you would pray for Quinn's body to accept this new addition, for his body to accept the night time feed, for his body to heal well without infection or impact on his reflux, and for Ryan and me to be equipped and asking to good questions we would greatly appreciate it.
I do have to share a conversation I had with Quinn last week. I was telling Quinn that he was going to get a feeding tube and that it would be like a second bellybutton. He said, "Oh a feeding tube!" I agreed that it was feeding tube. We talked a little bit about where it would be on his stomach. I told Quinn that he had cystic fibrosis--I said, "Quinn, can you say cystic fibrosis?" He gave me his version which was pretty close. Then, he looked at me and said,
"Mama. I'm broken."
"What did you say?!"
"Mama. I'm broken."
So I said,
"Quinn, we're all broken. That is why we need Jesus. He came to help us because we are broken."
I was surprised, sad, stunned...did he really say he was broken? We don't talk about CF like that or about going to the hospital to get fixed. I'm still not sure where he got that but I am vividly reminded that while I am physically whole I am spiritually broken and in need of a Savior. While He feels distant from me, I still need the Cross and the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, the Messiah.
So Quinn and I are waiting together, recognizing our brokeness, and saying "Maranatha, Lord"!